On the Genius of Spinal Tap

It is undeniable of course, that Spinal Tap are the greatest rock and roll band in history.  This is not in dispute.  But for decades, millions have wondered just what it is that makes Tap the greatest.

In fact, Tap are so cool that they gave the secret away in the single from their reunion album, Break Like the Wind.

And that’s the majesty or Rock,
The mystery of Roll.

You see, only Spinal Tap have perfected the delicate balance of rock and roll.

There are thousands of bands that rock.  Purple?  They rock.  Floyd rock.  Zep?  They totally rock.
But they don’t roll.  And that’s why they never quite made it to Tap’s brilliance.

To their credit, at least Led Zeppelin know it.  They have admitted as much.  As the song goes,

“It’s been a long time since we rock and rolled.”

Too true, Robert!

As Tap have explained, Roll is more mysterious and there are less bands who understand it. An obvious example is The Rolling Stones.  The name says it all.  They have Roll down pat.
But they don’t rock.
A lot of people will tell you the Stones rock, but they don’t.  I mean, it’s not The Rock and Rolling Stones, it is? QED!

You can just imagine the discussion,

’Ere Mick, I think we forgot something.
 - What’s that, Keef?
We forgot to rock.
 - Ah, bollocks! You’re right.

Only Spinal Tap have discovered the perfect combination of rock and roll.  And they have put the formula out there for anyone who knows where to look for it.

Australia Day

There is nothing wrong with taking pride in your country, just as there is nothing wrong with taking pride in your family.  However, it should be recognised that both are accidents of birth.  As with family, there are aspects of our country that we love, aspects that make us cringe, and aspects we want nothing to do with.  It does not mean we love our country or our family any less to acknowledge the other two.  Also, it doesn’t mean we love our country or family any more if we go lauding it just because it is there.  As with family, we tend to defend our country from criticism from outsiders, even when we’re inclined to agree with that criticism on some levels.  Brothers may fight between themselves, but if you attack either one, they will immediately unite to kick the crap out of you, and then go right back to fighting with each other.  People who develop foreign policy would do well to remember this.

Celebrating your birthday, or a family member’s, doesn’t mean you’re better than anyone else.  It doesn’t mean everything you’ve done is good and it doesn’t mean everything you’ve done is bad.  You get to have a party and indulge a bit, but if you overdo it and start acting like the sun shines out of your arse, people are still going to think you’re a tool, birthday or not. 

January 26th is modern Australia’s birthday, and there’s nothing wrong with celebrating that.  We’ve done some good stuff and we’ve done some bad stuff.  Some will celebrate quietly.  Some will make tools of themselves.  Some will ignore it, which is fair enough.  Some will make a conspicuous point of ignoring it in ways that are almost as vulgar as those who use the day as an excuse to be flag-waving idiots.

There’s a pretty wide line between national pride and moronic jingoism.  Perhaps if we had less of the latter, there would be less opposition to Australia Day.  Observing an anniversary doesn’t mean we have to be blind to the darker side of our history and equally, acknowledging that darker side doesn’t mean we should be forbidden from celebrating what’s good.  If you attend a birthday celebration for your grandfather, you know full well he couldn’t get to such an age without having done a few things worth being ashamed of.  It doesn’t mean you love him any less, and it doesn’t mean you’re pretending he has always been pure if you celebrate his birthday.  However, you would be doing him a disservice to act like he is the greatest thing ever and that you are better than the next person simply for being part of his family.

Patriotism is not the last refuge of a scoundrel.  It’s usually the first.

How not to show pride in your country

Peasant Food

Some of the poshest restaurants in New Orleans do what is essentially peasant food, done to perfection and the menus haven't changed in 100 years.  If that's not what you're interested in, then go somewhere else.  Anyone who says Commander's should change their menu or that Galatoire's should start taking reservations, just doesn't get it.  They do what they do.  If you want trendy stuff, then there are plenty of Abblebees and Denny's around that you can go to instead.  In fact, you could argue that it's the Applebees, Denny's and IHOPs that are the peasant food restaurants of today - and I don't mean that in a pejorative way, it's just an observation.

Thinking about it a little more, it seems to be yet another unique things about New Orleans - the way they embrace and support businesses that stick to what they're good at and don't try to be all things to all people.  Take Cafe Du Monde: They do coffee and beignets.  And chocolate milk.  That's it.  If you want a soy latte and an apple bran muffin, then there's a Starbucks around the block.  Or preferably PJ's since you're in New Orleans.  Then there's the burger restaurant Port of Call.  They do burgers and baked potatoes.  Would you like fries with that?  This ain't McDonald's.  The legendary Hubig's Pies make their own style of pie and nothing more, except occasionally King cakes.  Even Huge Ass Beers on Bourbon Street is the same.  They sell beers.  Huge ass ones, in fact.  That's it.  It's not even a bar, they sell beers to go.

There is a lot to be said for doing what you do, doing it well, and not complicating things by trying to do other stuff.

Idolising New Orleans

So one of the local NOLA stations was all gooey this morning over about interview w/ Steven Tyler for the New Orleans American Idol auditions and right now, the New Orleans American Idol show is on nationally. Now, just think this through for a moment.... It's NEW friggin' ORLEANS!! The birthplace of jazz. One of the musical capitals of the world! What do they need American Idol for? If you want to see and hear undiscovered talent, you don't have to hold Hollywood auditions, just walk down the damn street. Within two blocks, you'll hear a dozen performers with more talent and more guts than anyone on these manufactured shows. And there's something for everyone in New Orleans. It's possible to make a living as a musician just playing in N.O. The only thing they don't have a place for is the sub-Mariah rubbish that Idol presents. Can't we keep one place above that?

Seriously, if you're from New Orleans and you need Steven Tyler and Simon bloody Cowell to give you a break, you ain't trying hard enough.

An Ode to Bob Ellis

The conventional wisdom tells us that the Labor government in New South Wales is going to be annihilated at the next election.  Even the normally circumspect Antony Greene called it for the coalition a year out from the election.

However, if the last twelve months has taught us anything about Australian politics, it’s the conventional wisdom can get it profoundly wrong, and that the cycles we have be used to seeing don’t necessarily apply any more.  Be that as it may, Bob Ellis’s assertion today that it’s still possible for Labor to win NSW remains pretty fanciful.  The main reason is that all the factors he quotes are not factors that many people change their vote over.  So the Liberals are taking money from big tobacco.  There’s no excusing that, but who is going to change their vote because of it?  Likewise, who is going to swing away from the Liberals over Vietnam or Jørn Utzon?

A friend on Twitter suggested there ought to be some kind of epic poem to describe Bob’s delusions.  Well, this is about as ‘epic’ as I get:

There once was a writer named Ellis
Who had special insight to tell us
But readers, perplexed
At his reasoning vexed,
Concluded he might just be jealous

Suck it up, iSnobs

2010 may have been the year of the iPad but it was also the year Apple really tarnished its brand.  By far, the greatest number of complaints I saw about technology, were not about what a beast of a thing Windows is.  Instead, they were mostly about people being screwed around by their iPhones.  Does this mean iPhones are crap?  On no!  They’re still the greatest thing since the last Apple product, despite the fact that you have to hold them just so or they don’t bloody work at all.

Oh really?

Steve Jobs’ petulant talk – oops, sorry, “keynote address” in response to the ‘death grip’ problem further damaged Apple’s reputation for things that simply work.  (Funny how none of the reviews of the leaked prototypes mentioned that). He said that all smartphones have similar problems.  That may well be, but that kind of makes a mockery of the “This changes everything. Again,” slogan, doesn’t it?  Now you’re saying it’s the same as all the others.  Besides, I had video calls on my Nokia two years earlier - that was hardly a new innovation.  Sure, the problem may have been blown out of proportion, but so is the hype surrounding every Apple release.  The backlash was entirely proportional to the expectations Apple had set up.

It all serves to remind us of something Douglas Adams said, which is that “technology” is stuff that doesn’t work yet.  We don’t regard a chair as technology because the principle has been established and perfected.  Things like computers and mobile devices are still evolving and as such, they have problems.  All of them.  Even Apple products.  It would probably be churlish of me to suggest that there is something karmic in the iPhone being humiliated by something as basic as not knowing that Australia has daylight saving.  And again today, social media is abuzz with another iPhone bug, again related to the alarm clock.  I mean really, the alarm clock?  How basic is that?

I’m not here to defend Microsoft or to diss Apple but I think it’s time someone called bullshit on the notion that with Apple, the shit just works and everything else is crap.  Any time there’s a problem with PCs, you can take bets on how long it will be before someone offers the constructive suggestion, “Should’ve bought a Mac.”

In that spirit then, my suggestion to all those who were woken early or slept late because their iPhones is,

You should’ve bought a Nokia or Android.

That shit just works.

Thinking of Linking

As much for my own reference as anyone else's, this is the second annual list of links I have bookmarked, shared or had shared with me. Posting these links does not necessarily constitute agreement with or endorsement of the contents. May contain traces of Harry Shearer, John Birmingham and NASA.

If you're looking for some more summer/winter reading, but sure to click those links down on the sidebar to your right there. I wouldn't link to them if they weren't magnificent. Welcome to the 'blogiverse Andy – it's about time!

News and Politics – Australia:
Since when did dumb-arsed nationalism become compulsory?
LNP's teen candidate hits back at critics ("I went overseas and went around Europe, as most people do," No way is Wyatt Roy out of touch!)
Julia Gillard: a political dill
Political logic points to double dissolution
Deveny learns the Anzac art of futile attack
Preferential Voting in Australia
What is a Liberal?
Rudd Faces Revolt: O Rly?
Thank you Kevin
Price, Arndt wrong in irrelevant family feud
The facts and furphies about Australia's most unwanted
Clarke and Dawe on asylum seekers
Rudd hoses down cabinet leak speculation
Fired up Gillard defends Cabinet questions
Internet filter blacklist leaked on web
The Real Benefits For Asylum Seekers In Australia
$37m sex case could set 'remarkable precedent'
Stimulus 'served Australia well' despite waste
Latham full of bile, Oakes says
We Get It, None of You Are Bill Gates
Election Leaflets
There are worse things than losing
For Those Who've Come Across Seas
Fake Green How to Vote Cards in Bennelong
Abbott apologises to Wilkie
Kiss Me Like You Mean It: Negotiating in the New Paradigm
When did Pride Become Pity?
Does Australia Have a Government Yet?
In conversation: Mungo MacCallum and Shane Maloney
The NBN may crush Turnbull
Does Australia Have a Grand Final Winner Yet?
Collection of Grog-gate 'blogs
More on the Ethics of Outing Grog's Gamut
An Open Letter to Bronwyn Pike, Victorian Education Minister
What secrets are worth keeping?
Quality sets The Australian apart
Coalition launch sullied by party boy candidate
A tragic reminder our long, bloody battle with the sea
US slams political games on refugees
To Andrew Bolt. With contempt.
Showboat – Jack Marx
Victorian Liberals Swing Music Funding Axe    
Hinch on dickileaks

News and Politics – US:
Tea partiers attack convention (you could not make this up!)
Obama urges Republican "soul-searching" on healthcare (I think I see the problem with that strategy)
Attention, Dick Cheney: Don't the Germans Know We're At War?
New Orleans: The Joy and the Dread
The Rand Paul Quote Everybody's Ignoring
Memo to Rand Paul: Free Enterprise Isn't Free
Visualising the slick – If it were my home
Gulf Oil Leak Happened Before – here's how they fixed it
Pilots Bristle As American Airline Tells Them To Fly With Less Fuel
It's getting to be embarrassing to be a conservative
Ground Zero "Hallowed Ground"
The Katrina Bookshelf
Infographic: MLK Glenn Beck Flow Chart
Building a Nation of Know-Nothings
A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Microwave
Experts: Terrorism threat to U.S. now more homegrown
Criminals In The Bush Administration
Commentary: They've squandered lives, fortunes and our sacred honour
Harry Shearer vs. the Army Corps of Engineers
Harry Shearer and NPR: The Big Uneasy
Pentagon Destroys Copies of Controversial Memoir Written by Army Officer
Does Sarah Palin desecrate the American flag?
Our election ads are scaring the Martians
Jon Stewart on Larry King
Does fame bring forth madness?
Probably the best sign from the Rally for Sanity
Extremes rule both parties, as centrists lose their seats
Live Tweeting Murder
Were the Bush Tax Cuts Good for Growth?
Tweet of the day
KUHNER: Assassinate Assange?
You let the bully kick your ass and then get your big brother to convince everybody you won?
An Irishman abroad tells it like it is
Sarah Palin is wrong about John F. Kennedy, religion and politics
Halliburton Offers Nigeria $250 Million in Exchange for Dropping Charges Against Cheney, Company
Accused soldier offered plea bargain if he names WikiLeaks founder

News and Politics – World:
Cleric issues anti-terror fatwa (Didn't see that reported in the fair-and-balanced networks, did you?)
What Isn't News: NATO's Coverup of Civilian Deaths in Afghanistan
Ninth worker death at Taiwan iPhone firm Foxconn
Echoes of Raid on 'Exodus' Ship in 1947
Replace Ryanair boss with flight attendant: pilot
Nobel Peace Prize winner's wife has 'disappeared,' lawyer says
Ninety years on, First World War is finally over for Germany
UN Space expert denies being alien ambassador (They had to ask that question?)
Britons want William, not Charles as next king - Poll (methinks they might be misunderstanding one of the fundamental aspects of a monarchy)
Fifa's demand to be exempt of UK money-laundering legislation
Sodomy charges were a set-up (Just in from the obvious desk. The hotel where the offences were alleged to have taken place wasn't even built at the time they said they happened)
David Cameron asked about liking The Smiths (Prime Minister's Questions, 8.12.10) (Best. Question. Ever!)
The rights and wrongs of hacktivism
Six days of war, 40 years of secrecy

Media Bias Files:
The 119 Words You Can't Say On The Radio
You wouldn't read about it: climate scientists right
Journalism Warning Labels
Fox sends out ambush squad to talk to NYC mosque investors -- but doesn't mention key Fox investor
How Google Unwittingly Helped Propagate the Misleading "Ground Zero Mosque" Label
The Billionaires Bankrolling the Tea Party
Agendas and bias on the media trail
Gruen's gift to the advertisers
Editor said policeman's death would boost sales
Nudge nudge, don't mention Denton
Lindsay Lohan: Mental Illness as Entertainment
Newspapers Retract 'Climategate' Claims, but Damage Still Done
A Twitter idea for Q&A (The Aus moans about unattributed comment. The comment is unattributed!)
If Olbermann's Donations Are Bad, What About GE's?
The $200million myth
Jewish outrage grows, but Beck digs deeper by approvingly citing flaming anti-Semite Mahatir
The Beatles 'are from Manchester', claims Fox News
The 'torture' of writing about climate change at The Oz
Both ends of it benefit the ultimate News Corp agenda
Look you can have a headline a day or a bucket of shit every day. What's it to be?
Nice work, Drudge!
Fox's news editor who tells reporters all global temperature trends are "notions," never facts.

Science and Technology:
Claims of wind farm illness
Neil deGrasse Tyson at UB: What NASA Means to America's Future
Dry as a dingo: no water for three weeks
Google to stop capturing wi-fi data (How do you "mistakenly" collect data?)
Manhattanhenge
Go For Launch!
Apple issues advice to avoid iPhone flaw (That's right! Apple products don't have design flaws. It's your fault for holding it wrong.)
First optical photograph of a planet outside our solar system
Massive fish kill reported in Louisiana
Love Makes You Increasingly Ignorant of Your Partner
Making things hard to read 'can boost learning'
Ig Nobel for 'whale breathalyser'
Ultrafast laser pulse makes desktop black hole glow
Benoît B. Mandelbrot (1924-2010), Father of Fractal Geometry
The McDonald's burger won't destruct. Here's why
Russian Software Firm Breaks Canon's Authenticity Verification, Big Time
NASA-Funded Research Discovers Life Built With Toxic Chemical (*Since called into question, but still fascinating)
Message from Buzz re: NASA CCDev-2 Program
NASA's LRO Creating Unprecedented Topographic Map of Moon 
Lunar Eclipse Photos


Music and the Arts:
J.D. Salinger: The Man in the Glass House
Ken Loach streams entire back catalogue on YouTube
Ozzy Osbourne wanted to be a Beatle
Paul McCartney's Inner Rhymes (A Tale of Love Unrequited)
Mini Beatles reunion caught on a thousand shakycams
John Irving's personal thoughts on Simon Birch
Lost tapes of classic British television found in the US
David Bowie: Fantastic Voyages From Beyond The Hits
This made Prince go up about 10 notches in my estimation
Triple J Hottest 100 Mashup - Vol 1-15
The Smiths: Johnny Marr looks back
Lay off Linda, the ultimate rock chick
Paper Training
Fighting a poet's corner – An Appointment with Mr Yeats
Slam Rally
John Lennon - Not only ... but also
Superhero minimalism - 70s-inspired, minimalist book covers
Neil Finn & Johnny Marr - There is a light that never goes out - Jazz Cafe
100 Best Australian Albums Revealed (The Vines but no Whitlams? Kylie but no Bridie? I call bullshit!)
When the man comes around: a case of cash for rock
Jane Austen's famous prose may not be hers after all
Capt Beefheart's 10 Commandments of Guitar Playing
10 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden in Famous Albums

Animals:
Bull and burgers: mincing their words
Live sheep export: It's bad for our economy too
Catalonia bans bullfighting
Oscar's Law – abolish puppy factories
Politicians, Industry and Welfare Groups Unite In Call For End To Live Animal Export
Goodies Reissue Funky Gibbon

Faith:
Crusade against the pope: an Inquisition-in-Reverse
Atheist zealots a heavy cross to bear
Monday Morning Hate-mail and the Brilliant Dr Pamela Gay

Humour and Satire:
Bunch Of Phonies Mourn J.D. Salinger
If real life were more like the internet
Libertarian Paradise
BP Spills Coffee
The Spill in lolcats
Steve Martin Concert Contract Rider
Don't use a blue background next time, Tony
Fiona Katauskas: Game on
Lego Election
Best e-reader on the market
They denied reality
Lyric sheets for nerds
Palin 2012
The tea and crumpets party
Best accidental ad placement
The tree that knows stuff
I see what you did there
Clarke and Dawe - A Very Firm Grasp of Matters
New Twitter feature
Nobel Prize
But I Twitter
SNL's Julian Assange To The U.S.: You Got Me, Where's Osama?
Most Damning Wikileaks cable
Dogbert on message boards (Admit it – you've done this)
Swedish Chef does Popcorn
How Follow Friday is supposed to work

Egotism:
Eray Photography
Hi-Fi Weddings
Both
Classic Fender Pick
Real UFO caught on video causing terror in Melbourne
UFO = Unidentified Floating Object
Dogs on Boxes...The Weeks Best from Australia's Twittocracy #102
@PeterJBlack's top five #ausvotes (and #QandA) tweets of Monday 2nd
The Notion Factory
Legitimate Questions for Sarah Palin - Small Government News
Legitimate Questions for Sarah Palin | The Fifth Column
Tuesday Night Buzz - Ground Zero Mosque - Part 2
Blog-This profile

Other interesting stuff:
How Tweet It Is!: Library Acquires Entire Twitter Archive
Bart's Blackboard
Google Pacman
Hello Kitty Engine Oil (Well, if it means emo girls will take an interest in engine protection....)
Spicks and Specks: Barry Morgan Medley - Ep 24, 2010
The Beer Reviews: Great Aussie pubs
On My Shelves — On the art of arranging bookshelves
Captured: America in Colour from 1939-1943 (58 is just perfect)
Give Our Streets the Green Light
Russia in colour, a century ago
Boobies!
RUOK Day
The best sentence ever
Dead Plagiarists Society
Bad light mars play as Aussies make silly point
Instant statistics
National Geographic's Photography Contest 2010
How I Killed Pluto and Why It Had It Coming
Sister Cyril