Saturday Night Rocktails

The Fleetwood Mac

You will need, Coconut Rum, Vodka, Brandy, Lemonade, soda water and lots and lots of icing sugar.
Combine the coconut rum with the lemonade and the vodka with the soda water. Add icing sugar. Combine the vodka with the lemonade and the rum with the soda water. Add icing sugar. Bring in the Brandy, and mix with the rum, add more icing sugar. Repeat.

Saturday Night Rocktails

Sorry there were no Rocktails last week. I was out getting rained on.

The JET

Pour 1½ measures of Jim Beam over ice and top up with Coca Cola.

Now I know it sounds like something that's been done a thousand times before, but really this is very new and innovative.... honest!
aka, The Strokes, The Vines, The Darkness, The Wolfmother, etc.........

Saturday Night Rocktails

The INXS

Create a sweet but solid foundation of raspberry sorbet.
Top with Moet.
If you can't get Moet, try Riccadonna
If you can't get Riccadonna, try Great Western
If that doesn't work out, try fruity lexia
If that still doesn't work, pour in a bit of whatever's around. Surely something will work.


The Sex Pistols

Half fill a glass with lager, then spit in it.
Top it up with tap water, then laugh as people talk about how important it is.

Saturday Night Rocktails

The Flaming Lips

Pour measures of Brandy, Drambuie, Blue Curacao and Red Bull into separate glasses, then try to drink all four simultaneously.


The Robbie Williams

Serve diet lemonade in a martini glass.
Tell people it's a martini.


And, as a bonus, I've found the original article, so I'll post some of those too. It's from NME's Christmas 1991 issue, so they're even more dated than mine. And, as with all great British journalism, it begins with a lame pun. These are, of course, copyright, New Musical Express.

Rocktails

It's Saturday night - time for a couple of Rocktails.

The Radiohead

Add a nip of absinthe to cider and serve over cough drops and ice.
Add sour cream and chill.
Add celery juice and Marmite.
If that still doesn't turn people off, add grass, sawdust, pea soup and iron filings until something works.


The Oasis

Fill a pint glass with gin & tonic, Jack Daniel's and red wine, then throw it at your brother.

Rocktails

Okay, it's time for some levity at the end of an awful week.

Allow me (as if you could forbid me) to introduce Rocktails.

It's something I've posted on various sites before and I freely admit that I stole the idea completely from NME. Way back in the early 90s, they published a throwaway article of cocktail recipes based on rock stars. One of these days I'll dig out the original article and post it, but today isn't that day. I've taken the idea and devised a few of my own. Some will be a bit dated now, but hopefully still good for a laugh. Suggestions or challenges welcome.

Warning!
These are not real recipes! This is for entertainment purposes only. I take no responsibility for anything that happens to anyone who is silly enough to actually mix and consume any of these concoctions. This disclaimer applies to all future posts with the Rocktails label.


The Paul & Heather

Mix 2 parts 25yo single malt scotch whiskey with 1 part Island Cooler in a stainless steel Gucci blender.
Taste.
Mix again.
Taste
Leak recipe to the press.
Add twist of lemon.
Taste.
Continue adding twists of lemon until the whole thing is so bitter you pour it out.


The U2

Combine Irish whiskey with lime juice and soda water in a straight glass and mix earnestly.
Garnish with novelty hats.
Pour out of the straight glass into a modern design glass.
Add lemon.
Pour into a really silly glass with flashing lights.
When the straight glass has come back into fashion, pour it back into that and serve on an oversized coaster with the contact numbers for Greenpeace, Amnesty International and Make Poverty History.