08 October, 2015

The Rules: Keeping it real

Oh, for pity’s sake Rupert! Do you have to make it so bloody easy?

I would have thought that to be as rich and powerful as you are, one would have to have at least a modicum of sense. Oh well, you know what they say about assumptions. Or are you playing the ‘doddery old man who, despite a 60-year reputation for being a control freak, doesn’t know what’s going on in his own businesses’ shtick that you pulled in front of the Leveson inquiry?

For you, and anyone else who needs to be told, here are the rules:

If you renounced your citizenship in order to own a television network, you don’t get to talk about who is real.

If you took up citizenship of another country, not because you love the country or believe in its values, but to expand your personal empire, you don’t get to talk about who is real.

If you frequently use the word “we,” when referring to the concerns of Australia, and of Britain, and of the United States, you don’t get to talk about who it real. I’m all for internationalism but you have made your choice.

If you’re an old white man, you don’t get to decide what makes a “real” black man. I thought you might have learnt that from your minion at Southbank after he came unstuck doing something similar. Oh, but who am I kidding?

Finally – and this is for anyone – if you’ve found a black person you like, that doesn’t prove you’re not a racist. In fact, using the “Look, here’s a black person I agree with, so I’m totally not a racist,” angle is actually pretty racist. We might not have thought you were until you brought it up. You might as well tell us who some of your best friends are, and how much you liked The Cosby Show or Michael Jackson before he went all funny.

And one last thing, Rupert: Don’t ever call yourself Australian again. I know you like to claim to still be Australian when it’s convenient to you but you are not. You said so, under oath without purpose of evasion, on September 4th, 1985. So don’t talk to anyone else about being real.


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