23 May, 2018

How to be a larrikin

G’day me ol’ chinas! It’s time for another lesson in How to be a Larrikin, or as we like to call it here at The Larrikin Institute:

Lift yer game, son!

Today we’re gunna talk about how to whinge about dealing with the government.

Now every bugger and his dog hates dealing with the government so ya might reckon this’ll be a lay down misere, but you’d be barkin’ up the wrong trouser leg.

Y’see, there’s this drongo in Queensland (which is where they breed all the best drongos) who had ta deal with a mob called MyGov, an’ they asked him if it was okay to identify him as male. Bit of a queer question fer sure, but there’s a right way and a wrong to go about sayin’ so if you’re gunna be a proper bloody Aussie larrikin about it.



Now a few proper larrikins got into him on the innernet, so he goes and makes a video reading out some of the sledging he got an’ tries to explain how he doesn’t want the Aussie larrikin nature hijacked by the left wing politically correct brigade, whatever the bloody hell that is when it’s at home.

Now look mate, no proper larrikin gives a piece of cold cocky poop about political correctness gone mad. A larrikin shrugs an’ says, “Well, that’s a bit a’ bullshit isn’t it?” and goes back to fishin’ or drinkin’ or rootin’ or whatever make him happy. That’s ’cos a proper larrikin doesn’t take himself too bloody seriously, ya mug!

While we’re here, larrikins don’t make sure their picture of the queen is visible in their picture. We know that game. That lark’s for toffs. Captain Cook means having a squiz but we’ll get to that later.

Finally, you’ll look a prize dill if you have a whinge about some stick you got when they’re all beating your arse at being a larrikin. So next time, get your hand off it. Nobody likes a sook.

That’ll do for now. Next week, I’ll show youse the difference between bein’ a knockabout larrikin and whingeing about some poor buggers dealt a tougher hand. ’Til then, last one out shouts! Seeyalater.

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