The curious case of President Gary and Mr Jellybean

There are basically three types of Trump supporters.

There are the ones who are so brainwashed as to be in complete denial of the fact he is the most malignant sack of shit to freely walk the Earth at this point in time.

There are the ones who are well aware he is a malignant sack of shit and that’s just the way they like it because they’re toxic chauvinists as well. They finally feel represented. These people would happily watch the world burn so long as the guy who flicks the match yells, “AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!” as he does it.

The third type is the one I think is probably the largest group. They’re the less radical of the right wing – the traditional Republican voters. They know full well he is the antithesis of the values and character they’ve tried to bash Democrats over the head with for the last fifty years.  But at the end of the day world, he’s a Republican, he upsets lefties, and he promises tax cuts, so they’re on board. They just need to find a way to rationalise it to themselves.

“It’s not the person or the personality,” they say, “it’s the policy.”

I couldn’t agree more.

In fact, I said the very same thing about Bill Clinton. And then I was shouted down by the same people who now say Trump’s character doesn’t matter.

So let’s talk about policy.

And in order to take personality completely out of the equation, let’s talk about a hypothetical president. We’ll call him President Gary.

President Gary has just assumed the presidency having run on a platform of cutting government waste. And also a bunch of other stuff it’s best we don’t mention at the moment.

Cutting waste is certainly a worthy objective. No reasonable person would object to this.

President Gary appoints his new friend, who we will call Mr Jellybean, to be the one who finds and cuts the waste. He gives Mr Jellybean free and unfettered access to all aspects of government, and the power to defund or abolish entire arms of government and fire everyone who works for them.

Of course, Mr Jellybean can’t do all this on his own. He needs to bring a team in to help. Now you might imagine the team would include some elite forensic accountants but no. They are made up of coders in their late teens and early 20s who previously interned for Mr Jellybean.

Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous but remember, this is just a hypothetical.

In this hypothetical situation, Mr Jellybean is notionally the head of a department but the department isn’t real. It hasn’t been ratified by Congress, it exists in name only. The handy thing about this is that Mr Jellybean does not require Senate confirmation. He acts with the authority of President Gary, basically because President Gary says so.

Here’s the funny thing though: Mr Jellybean himself is a billionaire. A multi, multi billionaire. And he made a large chunk of his billions through government contracts.

If this sounds a bit strange then just hold that thought because I’m not finished yet.

Several of Mr Jellybean’s companies are currently under investigation for malfeasance by several government departments. The very same departments President Gary has given Mr Jellybean the summary authority to shut down.

I stress again, this is merely a hypothetical situation.

And in this hypothetical situation, free from any considerations of personal history, personal behaviour or – dare I suggest – party affiliation, what do we make of what’s going on?

A reasonable person would surely conclude that President Gary is, at the very best, dangerously naïve for thinking Mr Jellybean will act completely and exclusively in the national interest. Less generous people might even speculate that President Gary and Mr Jellybean may be colluding to subvert justice and due process in the name of saving tax dollars.

Oh, did I mention Mr Jellybean named his non-existent department after a cryptocurrency which was originally created as a joke based on a meme of a fluffy dog? And that he recently changed his social media name to Harry Bōlz? No, he’s not twelve. Why do you ask?

Now what if I told you none of this is hypothetical?

Over to you, patriots and policy wonks.

What’s your response to the scenario laid out here, ignoring all other considerations? You can leave your response free of charge in the handy space provided below.

 

 

Tariffs for Dummies

I’m not an economist but I’m not an idiot either. Or perhaps I repeat myself.

Tariffs are a tax on imports. The tax is paid by the business or entity importing the products into the destination country, not by the exporting country of origin. With me so far? Good.

And the importing business would not be an importing business for much longer if it didn’t pass the cost of the import tax on to the customer, right? Okay, fine!

Imports by Nick Youngson CC BY-SA 3.0 Pix4free

So, what’s wrong with this?

Well, nothing.

Tariffs have long been used as a way of protecting local producers from being undercut by cheap imports. We all support buying local whenever possible.

However…

The market has become so unbalanced that no reasonable amount of tariffs are going to change anything for the better.

For example…

The US market (and most of the first world) has decided they’d rather pay $5 at Wal Mart (or equivalent) for t-shirts made in China, than $50 for locally made t-shirts.

So even if you put 100% tariffs on those Chinese t-shirts, they would then cost $10, and the American made t-shirts will still cost $50. It doesn’t benefit the local producers because the imports are still way cheaper, and the people most affected are the ones who can least afford it – if that’s something you care about.

The only benefit is to federal tax revenue which, as the new administration has said, will only go towards tax cuts for those who least need it. Who benefits? Nobody you know.

In this example, there are only two ways to create a level playing field for American t-shirt manufacturers:

a: Raise import taxes to 1000%.

b: Pay US textile workers $2 a day to work 12-hour days with one day off per month.

I’m not sure any reasonable person would think either of those options is a good idea. Yet, this is the economy we have created. The market has decided.

And I’m all for walking back some of the market’s decisions and making things fairer for everyone. But if you think punitive tariffs are a magic cure-all, then I’ve got a large Arctic country to sell you at a knock-down price.

  

 

On celebrity autism

Content warning: ASD discussion...

 

I'm no expert but I have worked with a lot of people on the autism spectrum.

One of the biggest challenges is trying to figure out when their behaviour is a manifestation of their condition, and when they are using it as an excuse for being lazy or rude or otherwise anti-social. That sounds harsh, but it’s accurate.

But regardless of whether it’s one or the other, it's part of my job to help them understand what is socially acceptable. I've had to tell a student he can't just go to sleep on the floor when he’s bored. Sure, it's harmless, but it freaks people out.

I’ve had another student who is hyper-aware of his condition and obsesses over people not making allowances for it. I ended up telling him, “Unless you want to wear a badge that says, ‘I’m autistic, please be nice to me,’ then the world has already adjusted to you as much as it's going to.” You have to be cruel to be kind sometimes.

And that brings us back around to Elon and Kanye. An autism spectrum diagnosis (and I do mean diagnosis) may explain their behaviour but it does not excuse it.

This is not an unfortunate still taken out of context.
This is an adult who should know better.

In such a situation, it’s incumbent upon those around the individual in question to help them understand what is socially acceptable – and if they can’t understand it, at least act within what polite society considers appropriate.

I’ve been there myself. As I child, I was in the front room playing and I held my right arm out in a way that I had seen a robot in a movie do to zap some bad guys. Or maybe they were good guys – I don’t remember and it’s hardly relevant. My father sat me down and explained that we never EVER hold an arm out like that.

I was confused. Didn’t he understand I was just being like that robot in that movie? (He didn’t. And that’s fair enough) But after a few minutes I understood and I never did it again. I was 8.

Being on the spectrum and being a dickhead are not mutually exclusive.

I’ve written before about my own mental condition and I can tell you from experience that when someone uses a mental condition as an excuse for being a dickhead, it’s because they’re a dickhead, not because of any condition.

Autism conditions can be perfectly manageable if the individual and those around them (not necessarily in that order) are willing to manage it

Anyone who can’t make a gesture saying, “My heart goes out to you,” without it looking like a Nazi salute has deeper problems than being on the spectrum. Saying, “I’m a bit socially awkward cos autism,” is not just a pissweak excuse, it’s an insult to all those on the spectrum who have struggled for years to adjust to social norms which don’t compute for them.