What would happen if the Old Spice guy told the truth?
Click Play.
Old Spice Guy by Billablog
31 July, 2010
25 July, 2010
Election tweets
For those who have been expecting a whole lot of election commentary. I've been too busy with personal things to write anything of substance, although I do have at least three posts planned. In the meantime, for those who don't partake, here are some of my Twitter comments from the last week, expanded where appropriate, plus credited re-tweets.
Okay, so @abcnews broke the spill and the announcement of election, do you think they can give us the result next week?
Hashtag_Police #ausvotes refers to the upcoming Australian election. #ozvotes refers to choosing a new Wizard.
emmygrrl Why can't the media just wait untilt the actual election is called? Just because you said it was on before it was doesn't make you good.
If Kroger & Richo still speak for their respective parties, how can we believe that either has progressed in the last 20 years?
latikambourke Tabbott: 'An incoming Coalition government will not seek to change the Fair Work Act for the three years of the next term of parliament.' Translation: WorkChoices back in 2nd term, just like GST.
Translation: WorkChoices back in 2nd term, just like GST.
If I had a drink for ever "move/moving forward" I'd be pissed already.
Oh Julia, did you get this speech from dial-a-cliche?
It's official: "moving forward" is more annoying than "ease the squeeze"
That speech was either a gift to satirists, or just made them redundant.
What the hell is a "green army" anyway?
angryaussie The Age says the election campaign will confirm or sweep out of office nation’s first woman PM. So she'll either win or lose. Fucking genius
Famous people vote too. But seriously, don't let that stop you. It's still important.
Surely Julia Gillard is the ultimate example of what boat people can achieve?
Didn't both Labor and Liberals ditch leaders because those leaders wanted to move forward?
Paris_David Ladies and gentlemen we've commenced our descent. Please ensure your principles and compassion are stowed in the overhead lockers.
via @jeremysear Nat-Sec of AWU says Greens are left-wing socialists http://bit.ly/9usRnu does he object because that used to be unions' gig?
RT @latikambourke TAbbott on Mitchell. He says he'll always try to tell the truth.
>Yeah, and I always “try” to lose weight.
Memo to political journos: None of the punters care who reports something first. They care about who covers it best.
Ok Liberals, yes "moving forward" is a lame slogan. Saying so doesn't make you a better option. No extra points for the bloody obvious
BridgetOFlynn TA "It's all about debt". That debt helped me stay in business, helped my staff feed their kids, helped my clients sleep at night. Stupid man.
So let me get this straight: @JuliaGillard and @TonyAbbottMHR have agreed that between them, they're less important than masterchef?
So both leaders and networks have accepted that more people would rather watch Masterchef than debate? We're stuffed.
I love the way both parties are campaigning against their own previous terms in government.
I'm a political animal, but if anyone thinks I'm going to give up Spicks and Specks to see how cringeworthy Abbott is on Hey Hey It's Saturday, forget it!
Abbott on Hey Hey is an embarrassment. In other news, rain is wet, sky is blue and gravity sucks #tweetthebleedingobvious
Mark Latham says Kevin Rudd is an "unguided missile" and could cause "no end of strife" for the ALP campaign. Pot & kettle, Mark?
An honest question to @Greens and @AusDemocrats - What's the difference between your parties? Do you compete with or compliment each other?
AusDemocrats @Billablog We have very different ways of thinking about and approaching things,. Read the 5 core beliefs http://bit.ly/81T9iI
(no reply from Greens)
If only we had a citizens' assembly that would represent the people's views on all important issues.
Wil_Anderson Doc says skin cancer on my shoulder needs removing. Should I trust "experts" or form Citizens Assembly of the other people in waiting room?
Remember at your next rally, it's not an unlawful gathering, it's a citizens' assembly.
iBleeter @JuliaGillard Aren't we already voting for a citizen's assembly? How about leading from in front?
RT @TurnbullMalcolm a "citizens assembly" to discuss climate? Isnt that what parliament is meant to do?
>Yes, but your party decided otherwise
Abbott is right - Gillard's climate policy lacks leadership. But it rings hollow coming from the party that wants to wait and see.
Gillard still in front on "Who is less like Tony Abbott" index.
Libs have to understand that aversion to Labor won't automatically translate into support for Liberals. http://ow.ly/2frUC via @Paris_David
As a champion procrastinator, I know avoidance behaviour when I see it, and that's what both parties are doing on climate change.
squeiss If you think a vote for the @greens is a vote for Labor, please ask someone to explain to you how preferences work. Thx.
ben_hr RT @mfarnsworth: Gillard and Abbott are both political pygmies, hollow and cowardly says @LaurieOakes: http://auspol.info/bu3XYx
>@GrogsGamut Can't stand Oakes, but he's nailed it there.
iBleeter Please number your ballot paper randomly for the sake of democracy http://bit.ly/d2ybJB (via @JonKudelka)
Can't believe I'm about to say this, but if @TurnbullMalcolm were still leader, I'd consider voting Liberal.
latikambourke My interview with Don Randall where he says Christians are unhappy with a 'Godless PM.' #ausvotes http://twaud.io/l91
@latikambourke I'm Christian & I don't care if they believe in God. I care more about policies that reflect Christian values. Libs' policies certainly doesn't
I love democracy. I love science. Science is not democracy, Democracy not science. If 150 people agree that the Earth is flat, it's still round.
Nails it again! RT @Gibbot5000 My absolute fury at the impending election fail. http://is.gd/dEsvI
More can be found HERE, along with other pointless crap.
I hope to have some well thought out posts on the topic later in the week.
Okay, so @abcnews broke the spill and the announcement of election, do you think they can give us the result next week?
Hashtag_Police #ausvotes refers to the upcoming Australian election. #ozvotes refers to choosing a new Wizard.
emmygrrl Why can't the media just wait untilt the actual election is called? Just because you said it was on before it was doesn't make you good.
If Kroger & Richo still speak for their respective parties, how can we believe that either has progressed in the last 20 years?
latikambourke Tabbott: 'An incoming Coalition government will not seek to change the Fair Work Act for the three years of the next term of parliament.' Translation: WorkChoices back in 2nd term, just like GST.
Translation: WorkChoices back in 2nd term, just like GST.
If I had a drink for ever "move/moving forward" I'd be pissed already.
Oh Julia, did you get this speech from dial-a-cliche?
It's official: "moving forward" is more annoying than "ease the squeeze"
That speech was either a gift to satirists, or just made them redundant.
What the hell is a "green army" anyway?
angryaussie The Age says the election campaign will confirm or sweep out of office nation’s first woman PM. So she'll either win or lose. Fucking genius
Famous people vote too. But seriously, don't let that stop you. It's still important.
Surely Julia Gillard is the ultimate example of what boat people can achieve?
Didn't both Labor and Liberals ditch leaders because those leaders wanted to move forward?
Paris_David Ladies and gentlemen we've commenced our descent. Please ensure your principles and compassion are stowed in the overhead lockers.
via @jeremysear Nat-Sec of AWU says Greens are left-wing socialists http://bit.ly/9usRnu does he object because that used to be unions' gig?
RT @latikambourke TAbbott on Mitchell. He says he'll always try to tell the truth.
>Yeah, and I always “try” to lose weight.
Memo to political journos: None of the punters care who reports something first. They care about who covers it best.
Ok Liberals, yes "moving forward" is a lame slogan. Saying so doesn't make you a better option. No extra points for the bloody obvious
BridgetOFlynn TA "It's all about debt". That debt helped me stay in business, helped my staff feed their kids, helped my clients sleep at night. Stupid man.
So let me get this straight: @JuliaGillard and @TonyAbbottMHR have agreed that between them, they're less important than masterchef?
So both leaders and networks have accepted that more people would rather watch Masterchef than debate? We're stuffed.
I love the way both parties are campaigning against their own previous terms in government.
I'm a political animal, but if anyone thinks I'm going to give up Spicks and Specks to see how cringeworthy Abbott is on Hey Hey It's Saturday, forget it!
Abbott on Hey Hey is an embarrassment. In other news, rain is wet, sky is blue and gravity sucks #tweetthebleedingobvious
Mark Latham says Kevin Rudd is an "unguided missile" and could cause "no end of strife" for the ALP campaign. Pot & kettle, Mark?
An honest question to @Greens and @AusDemocrats - What's the difference between your parties? Do you compete with or compliment each other?
AusDemocrats @Billablog We have very different ways of thinking about and approaching things,. Read the 5 core beliefs http://bit.ly/81T9iI
(no reply from Greens)
If only we had a citizens' assembly that would represent the people's views on all important issues.
Wil_Anderson Doc says skin cancer on my shoulder needs removing. Should I trust "experts" or form Citizens Assembly of the other people in waiting room?
Remember at your next rally, it's not an unlawful gathering, it's a citizens' assembly.
iBleeter @JuliaGillard Aren't we already voting for a citizen's assembly? How about leading from in front?
RT @TurnbullMalcolm a "citizens assembly" to discuss climate? Isnt that what parliament is meant to do?
>Yes, but your party decided otherwise
Abbott is right - Gillard's climate policy lacks leadership. But it rings hollow coming from the party that wants to wait and see.
Gillard still in front on "Who is less like Tony Abbott" index.
Libs have to understand that aversion to Labor won't automatically translate into support for Liberals. http://ow.ly/2frUC via @Paris_David
As a champion procrastinator, I know avoidance behaviour when I see it, and that's what both parties are doing on climate change.
squeiss If you think a vote for the @greens is a vote for Labor, please ask someone to explain to you how preferences work. Thx.
ben_hr RT @mfarnsworth: Gillard and Abbott are both political pygmies, hollow and cowardly says @LaurieOakes: http://auspol.info/bu3XYx
iBleeter Please number your ballot paper randomly for the sake of democracy http://bit.ly/d2ybJB (via @JonKudelka)
Can't believe I'm about to say this, but if @TurnbullMalcolm were still leader, I'd consider voting Liberal.
latikambourke My interview with Don Randall where he says Christians are unhappy with a 'Godless PM.' #ausvotes http://twaud.io/l91
@latikambourke I'm Christian & I don't care if they believe in God. I care more about policies that reflect Christian values. Libs' policies certainly doesn't
I love democracy. I love science. Science is not democracy, Democracy not science. If 150 people agree that the Earth is flat, it's still round.
Nails it again! RT @Gibbot5000 My absolute fury at the impending election fail. http://is.gd/dEsvI
More can be found HERE, along with other pointless crap.
I hope to have some well thought out posts on the topic later in the week.
16 July, 2010
Mad Mel
Okay, so it would appear that Mel Gibson is a bit nuts. I was under the impression that this had been established for a while now. Presenting more evidence just seems like piling on. I can only suggest that everyone try to get on with their lives.
This is not to rationalise anything he has done, hasn’t done or is alleged to have done or not done. It’s just that the only thing more sickening than sycophantic declarations of how awesome a famous person is, is sanctimonious tirades about how disgraceful a famous person is.
Be thankful for small mercies. At least for the time being, it’s okay to like Tom Cruise again.
The deeper question is the one that TISM asked:
“Does fame bring forth madness or is fame, to madness brought?”
This is not to rationalise anything he has done, hasn’t done or is alleged to have done or not done. It’s just that the only thing more sickening than sycophantic declarations of how awesome a famous person is, is sanctimonious tirades about how disgraceful a famous person is.
Be thankful for small mercies. At least for the time being, it’s okay to like Tom Cruise again.
The deeper question is the one that TISM asked:
“Does fame bring forth madness or is fame, to madness brought?”
10 July, 2010
Move Over Busker
When I was in Melbourne last weekend, I noticed that the Bourke Street Mall has pretty much been taken over by professional level street performers with personal PA systems and CD stalls. I’m in two minds about electric busking. I’m probably less likely to drop a coin in their box simply because they give the impression that they’re doing pretty well, although I appreciate that this impression may be misleading. These days, it’s quite cheap and easy to produce and manufacture a CD from your bedroom, and just as economical to put backing tracks on an iPod and play them through a battery amp. Even so, that air of professionalism leaves me somewhat unfulfilled – I don’t know if I’m seeing a street performer or a professional making a personal appearance.
The slightly less slick (but no less interesting) buskers seem to have moved into Swanston Street now, with the more traditional style of buskers taking up positions outside Flinders Street Station. All of them had amplifiers though, and a few still had backing tracks too, including the very cool surf guitarist and the guy playing blues harp. I guess amplification is necessary now for players to make themselves audible over the hubbub of the city, and you certainly have to allow that the young man playing the Theremin needed an amp.
I have nothing against the amplified, professional buskers. If I can listen to Lindsay Buckland for half an hour or so on a late afternoon, that is utter bliss! But a part of me missed the buskers who just have a red guitar, three chords and the truth. That’s why it was really refreshing to go out to Camberwell Market on Sunday morning and hear a fiddle player who had come only with her violin, case and music stand.
The slightly less slick (but no less interesting) buskers seem to have moved into Swanston Street now, with the more traditional style of buskers taking up positions outside Flinders Street Station. All of them had amplifiers though, and a few still had backing tracks too, including the very cool surf guitarist and the guy playing blues harp. I guess amplification is necessary now for players to make themselves audible over the hubbub of the city, and you certainly have to allow that the young man playing the Theremin needed an amp.
I have nothing against the amplified, professional buskers. If I can listen to Lindsay Buckland for half an hour or so on a late afternoon, that is utter bliss! But a part of me missed the buskers who just have a red guitar, three chords and the truth. That’s why it was really refreshing to go out to Camberwell Market on Sunday morning and hear a fiddle player who had come only with her violin, case and music stand.
05 July, 2010
Fifty Songs
I have only participated in one other Blog This challenge, but I have been a member since pretty much the beginning and I really appreciate the support that comes from the community there and the opportunity to discover new writers, ideas and inspiration.
This week is their fiftieth challenge, and it is simply to list fifty things. I thought I would never be able to think of fifty things of any particular theme. Then I remembered a question that several people have asked me recently: "Do you have a song for everything?"
The answer is yes - usually several. For all my political rantings, my first passion will always be music. I’ve often said that good music makes me want to play, and great music makes me want to give up. Here are fifty songs that, in the best possible way, make me want to give up. They are listed off the top of my head in roughly the order in which thought of them. The list is by no means complete. I was only allowed fifty. Be warned that you may need to plan your day around some of them.
World Party may figure....
I Hear They Smoke the Barbecue – Pere Ubu
It’s All Mine – World Party
The Bravery of Being Out of Range – Roger Waters
Keep the Dream Alive – Oasis
Obscurity Knocks – Trashcan Sinatras
Near Wild Heaven – REM
The Stolen Child – The Waterboys
#9 Dream – John Lennon
The Big Sky – Kate Bush
Marlene on the Wall – Suzanne Vega
Throwing it Away – My Friend the Chocolate Cake
Caught in My Shadow – The Wonderstuff
I Am the Walrus – The Beatles
Getting Away With It – Electronic
If I Needed Someone – The Beatles
Slow Emotion Replay – the The
There Goes God – Crowded House
Born of Frustration – James
Glastonbury Song – The Waterboys
Sowing the Seeds of Love – Tears for Fears
Absolute Beginners – David Bowie
Comfortably Numb – Pink Floyd
Thank You (for loving me at my worst) – The Whitlams
Always – World Party
Streets of Your Town – The Go-Betweens
Book Song – Frente
Be Firm – Max Sharam
Atomic Electric – Rebecca’s Empire
She Wears a Mask – Machine Translations
Stop Me if You Think You’ve Heard This One Before – The Smiths
Penny Lane – The Beatles
Strawberry Fields Forever – The Beatles
You Never Give Me Your Money – The Beatles
Ain’t Gonna Come til I’m Ready – World Party
See the Light – World Party
Sheba – Mike Oldfield
Monsters – Something For Kate
Way Down Now – World Party
You Get What You Give – New Radicals
C’mon People – Paul McCartney
When We Was Fab – George Harrison
Tomorrow – Morrissey
Brand New Day – Sting
Chemistry – Semisonic
Catch the Sun – Doves
Last Days on Earth – Tears for Fears
London Town – Wings
Make the World Safe – The Whitlams
A Pagan Place – The Waterboys
Live Forever – Oasis
I am already kicking myself for some that I left out. Maybe when the 100th challenge comes around, there can be more. There are few things more joyful than sharing great music with friends.
This week is their fiftieth challenge, and it is simply to list fifty things. I thought I would never be able to think of fifty things of any particular theme. Then I remembered a question that several people have asked me recently: "Do you have a song for everything?"
The answer is yes - usually several. For all my political rantings, my first passion will always be music. I’ve often said that good music makes me want to play, and great music makes me want to give up. Here are fifty songs that, in the best possible way, make me want to give up. They are listed off the top of my head in roughly the order in which thought of them. The list is by no means complete. I was only allowed fifty. Be warned that you may need to plan your day around some of them.
World Party may figure....
I Hear They Smoke the Barbecue – Pere Ubu
It’s All Mine – World Party
The Bravery of Being Out of Range – Roger Waters
Keep the Dream Alive – Oasis
Obscurity Knocks – Trashcan Sinatras
Near Wild Heaven – REM
The Stolen Child – The Waterboys
#9 Dream – John Lennon
The Big Sky – Kate Bush
Marlene on the Wall – Suzanne Vega
Throwing it Away – My Friend the Chocolate Cake
Caught in My Shadow – The Wonderstuff
I Am the Walrus – The Beatles
Getting Away With It – Electronic
If I Needed Someone – The Beatles
Slow Emotion Replay – the The
There Goes God – Crowded House
Born of Frustration – James
Glastonbury Song – The Waterboys
Sowing the Seeds of Love – Tears for Fears
Absolute Beginners – David Bowie
Comfortably Numb – Pink Floyd
Thank You (for loving me at my worst) – The Whitlams
Always – World Party
Streets of Your Town – The Go-Betweens
Book Song – Frente
Be Firm – Max Sharam
Atomic Electric – Rebecca’s Empire
She Wears a Mask – Machine Translations
Stop Me if You Think You’ve Heard This One Before – The Smiths
Penny Lane – The Beatles
Strawberry Fields Forever – The Beatles
You Never Give Me Your Money – The Beatles
Ain’t Gonna Come til I’m Ready – World Party
See the Light – World Party
Sheba – Mike Oldfield
Monsters – Something For Kate
Way Down Now – World Party
You Get What You Give – New Radicals
C’mon People – Paul McCartney
When We Was Fab – George Harrison
Tomorrow – Morrissey
Brand New Day – Sting
Chemistry – Semisonic
Catch the Sun – Doves
Last Days on Earth – Tears for Fears
London Town – Wings
Make the World Safe – The Whitlams
A Pagan Place – The Waterboys
Live Forever – Oasis
I am already kicking myself for some that I left out. Maybe when the 100th challenge comes around, there can be more. There are few things more joyful than sharing great music with friends.
20 June, 2010
Dear Canberra Press Gallery,
Look, I know you’re bored. I know Kevin Rudd isn’t the kind of prime minister who whacks himself in the eye with a cricket ball, or confesses infidelity, or tells the opposition leader “I’m going to do you slowly,” or makes a fawning goose of himself in front of royalty, or goes out of his way to be seen cheering any kind of sporting event. He is, as you rather dismissively put it when he became opposition leader, a policy wonk. And what a drag it is to have a prime minister who is interested in policy!
So I know that’s rather boring for you, but this is the beat you chose, so could you try reporting about things that are actually happening, rather than the things you wish were happening?
I know you don’t know what to make of the Resources Super Profits Tax. Nobody likes taxes, but they don’t like big business much either. It’s hard for you to figure out an angle when you’re not sure which side Mr and Mrs Suburban would take. They’re not sure themselves since it’s so hard to get good information from a media that would rather report gossip about leadership challenges. See how the cycle feeds itself?
Greg Rudd, Kevin’s brother, wrote an article in The Australian last week that wasn’t all that flattering of his brother, but also let us in on how you work:
And when the stories don’t come to you, you just create them. It’s so much easier to write about personality clashes and the soap opera of leadership than it is about policy, and you’ve had quite a few this term. Turnbull was out to roll Nelson from the start, and Turnbull himself floated the idea of challenging his own leadership when the party wouldn’t back his policy. You tried for years to get Peter Costello to roll John Howard, even though Costello had made it clear he didn’t have the bottle for it. You’ve actually been pretty spoiled for personality stories of late but once in a while, you will have to fall back on writing about things that the government is doing, instead of asking backbenchers if they would support a hypothetical leadership challenge from someone who has shown no interest in launching such a challenge. I know it’s hard to make that interesting in the age of Australian Idol, Dancing with the Stars and Masterchef, where the story is the personal sniping and not the substance of what’s being done, but once again, this is the beat you chose. If you don’t like writing about policy, then you can always put in for a transfer to the entertainment section and see if you can give Richard Wilkins and Angela Bishop a run for their money.
Let me help you out:
The proposed super profits tax is basically a HECS for industry. The Higher Education Contributions Scheme accepts that a university education is unaffordable for most people up front. So instead, students pay much lower fees, but once their post-study income hits a certain level – a level which they probably couldn’t have achieved without their degree – they then pay more tax to pay off the benefit they received earlier. Aside from the hypocrisy that HECS was designed and maintained by people who got their degrees for free through the 70s and 80s, no-one can really argue against it because it’s a pretty fair system. Similarly, the mining industry receives all kinds of subsidies, tax credits and the like, in order to set up their businesses, and to carry them through hard times. So when times are good, and only after their profits hit an extraordinary level, the RSPT would see them pay a higher proportion back to the country that has given them such opportunity.
See? Wasn’t so hard, was it? So there’s your angle for this week and now you can go back to asking who’s going to eat who on Masterchef and wondering if Jessica Watson has a boyfriend.
PS: If a hypothetical challenger decided you weren’t performing well, what would be your response?
So I know that’s rather boring for you, but this is the beat you chose, so could you try reporting about things that are actually happening, rather than the things you wish were happening?
I know you don’t know what to make of the Resources Super Profits Tax. Nobody likes taxes, but they don’t like big business much either. It’s hard for you to figure out an angle when you’re not sure which side Mr and Mrs Suburban would take. They’re not sure themselves since it’s so hard to get good information from a media that would rather report gossip about leadership challenges. See how the cycle feeds itself?
Greg Rudd, Kevin’s brother, wrote an article in The Australian last week that wasn’t all that flattering of his brother, but also let us in on how you work:
During the bitter Hawke-Keating leadership contest I was pulled aside by one of the senior members of the Canberra press gallery, who said: "Mate, save your energy. We've decided we want a regime change. With Hawke we have to chase stories. With Keating the stories will come to us."
In blood sport, honesty is bad policy
And when the stories don’t come to you, you just create them. It’s so much easier to write about personality clashes and the soap opera of leadership than it is about policy, and you’ve had quite a few this term. Turnbull was out to roll Nelson from the start, and Turnbull himself floated the idea of challenging his own leadership when the party wouldn’t back his policy. You tried for years to get Peter Costello to roll John Howard, even though Costello had made it clear he didn’t have the bottle for it. You’ve actually been pretty spoiled for personality stories of late but once in a while, you will have to fall back on writing about things that the government is doing, instead of asking backbenchers if they would support a hypothetical leadership challenge from someone who has shown no interest in launching such a challenge. I know it’s hard to make that interesting in the age of Australian Idol, Dancing with the Stars and Masterchef, where the story is the personal sniping and not the substance of what’s being done, but once again, this is the beat you chose. If you don’t like writing about policy, then you can always put in for a transfer to the entertainment section and see if you can give Richard Wilkins and Angela Bishop a run for their money.
Let me help you out:
The proposed super profits tax is basically a HECS for industry. The Higher Education Contributions Scheme accepts that a university education is unaffordable for most people up front. So instead, students pay much lower fees, but once their post-study income hits a certain level – a level which they probably couldn’t have achieved without their degree – they then pay more tax to pay off the benefit they received earlier. Aside from the hypocrisy that HECS was designed and maintained by people who got their degrees for free through the 70s and 80s, no-one can really argue against it because it’s a pretty fair system. Similarly, the mining industry receives all kinds of subsidies, tax credits and the like, in order to set up their businesses, and to carry them through hard times. So when times are good, and only after their profits hit an extraordinary level, the RSPT would see them pay a higher proportion back to the country that has given them such opportunity.
See? Wasn’t so hard, was it? So there’s your angle for this week and now you can go back to asking who’s going to eat who on Masterchef and wondering if Jessica Watson has a boyfriend.
PS: If a hypothetical challenger decided you weren’t performing well, what would be your response?
18 June, 2010
If You’ve Done Nothing Wrong, There’s Plenty to Worry About
The latest idea from the Federal Department of Stuffing Up the Internet is even more counter-productive than the last one. I haven’t written about the proposed (and now delayed) ISP level filtering – the so-called ‘clean feed’ – simply because others have already done so far better and at more length than I could have. But the new plan to require that ISPs log and retain data about all their customers’ web-browsing is even worse. It would be electoral suicide if enough people understood what it would mean.
Again, others have written about the gross invasion of privacy. I want to explore a different angle, that of data versus intelligence. Defenders of any form of surveillance often come out with the line that if you’re doing nothing wrong, then you’ve got nothing to worry about. That holds true when it comes to security cameras at stations (I’m all for them) but on the internet, there are plenty of ways to look like you might be doing something wrong when you’re not. Here are some examples from personal experience:
As mentioned in the fragment of bio to the right of your window, I teach computers – mostly to novices. The week before our first session on the internet, I always ask students to bring in an internet address they’d like to look up, and a topic they would like to search the internet for. One nice older gentleman, who was attending with his wife, wanted to look up information about the gold rush. Specifically, he wanted to get some information about the guards who protected the prospectors who had come over from South Australia as they brought their take home. These guards were called the Gold Escorts, so my student wanted to search for gold escorts south australia. It was a perfectly legitimate search for a perfectly innocent reason, so you can imagine my discomfort at having to warn him, while his wife was sitting beside him, that such a search query could also reveal more than he ever wanted to know about Adelaide nightlife. We did the search anyway, with the warning of what it might deliver, and the results were about 50/50 historical articles and (ahem) adult services. The ads, however, were 100% the latter.
Then there was the time I was showing a group how to set up a web-mail address. One of the students was a Filipino lady with not much English. For reasons that I couldn’t really glean at the time, she had chosen ‘porn’ as her login name. To save us both the embarrassment of having to explain the word, I just told her that it was such a common word on the internet that it had probably been taken and she’d best choose something else.
Earlier this year, I had a student who wanted to look up the Anarchist Cookbook. I told him that was fine but, with the clean feed proposal, to just be mindful of how it might look if his search history were revealed. There are numerous legitimate and innocent reasons why someone might want to look up the Anarchist Cookbook, or Mein Kampf, or Das Kapital, but it’s just as easy for someone on a fishing trip to look at those searches, put 2 and 2 together, and get 97.
This is all assuming that people are aware of what they are doing. As we all know, a lot of people who use the internet have no idea of what they are doing. The more experienced ’net users know that you can point to THIS LINK and see the true address displayed in the bottom left corner of the browser window. But with URL shorteners and aggregators, there’s no way of knowing where http://bit.ly/b7ly6X will take you until you click it. No form of data collection can take that into account. How would anyone like to take responsibility for every link they’ve innocently clicked and then regretted it? How would anyone like a misunderstood search query going on their permanent record?
Of course, in the examples I gave above, the history would not reflect on them because they were not at home, they were at my workplace. Those examples could easily be looked at out of context and someone could say, “Escorts? Porn? Anarchists? Just what is he teaching those people?” Well, I’m teaching them about the internet, and these things happen on the internet.
And this leads to the other reason that retaining everyone’s browsing history will not work. Anyone who really is a threat to public safety on any level, is not going to be using a visible internet account. They will either be using public internet access or a series of proxies. They’re not stupid. They’ve seen Spooks too. So unless the government intends to force every café, every hotel, every library, every McDonald’s to put its customers through the same kind of application process that it usually takes to get a mobile phone, then this latest scheme is not going to make anyone any safer. It simply gives the illusion of doing something useful while making us all a bit more paranoid.
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