Top 5 foodstuffs which need to stop trying to improve on perfection

Tim Tams

Perhaps the ultimate example of getting it right the very first time.

First, you take a biscuit (or cookie, if you’re American) along the lines of a Malt or a Malt-O-Milk. On its own, one of the most boring biscuits this side of Milk Coffee. But glue two of them together with some chocolaty icing and dunk the whole shebang in chocolate (milk or dark – we’re ecumenical) and you’ve got one of the closest things to perfection on God’s brown Earth.

You can make it different for sure, by adding some mint oil or berry flavour, but you will never make it better. Don’t add gooey caramel. One of the many beauties of the Tim Tam is they are not gooey. Who in their right mind looked at this pinnacle of human achievement and said, “Needs to be gooier”? Evidently, many people are not in their right mind and said just this.

Double coated? Too much of a good thing. Now you’re in the realm of a slab of chocolate with a bit of biscuit hidden inside. Fair enough if you’re into that kind of thing but a Tim Tam it ain’t.

“But Bill!” you cry, “These varieties are all very popular. Explain that, smartarse!”

I can and I will with one little acronym: FOMO. You’re sure they can’t possibly be better than the original, but how can you be certain? You have to try them to prove it to yourself.

Just as the Amish build a deliberate mistake into each of their quilts because only God is perfect, the original Tim Tam remains just one step away from perfection: The regular package contains eleven pieces. Did you notice the deliberate mistake? Eleven is a prime number! The only way to evenly share a packet of Tim Tams is one each among eleven people, or eleven each among one person.

Wait a sec! Maybe they are perfect after all!

Oreos

America’s favourite sandwich cookie which has taken over the world makes the same mistake Tim Tams do.

Start with two chocolate (or at least very dark brown to give the impression of chocolate) biscuits (oh, alright then, cookies) and bind them together with creamy vanilla-ish substance so close to the edge of being describable as ‘food’ that even the manufacturers are content to simply call it “stuff.” That’s it. Job done. Meet you after 5 to count our profits.

Oh no, we have to introduce varieties. Like the double stuff, which is closer to 150% than 200%, which messes up the ratio. Or the inside-out, with vanilla cookies around brown stuff. Now let’s put the brown stuff inside the brown cookies. Or we’ll do half and half, brown and white. Maybe add fruit flavours. Hell, why not go the full double-down and stick one between a couple of chicken tenders?

If any of these had been a good idea, they would have done that first. But they didn’t and we all know why.

M&Ms

As a Gen-X Australian, I grew up with Smarties as the default when it comes to sugar-coated pellets of chocolate. M&Ms seemed like the knock-off when they invaded in the 80s. I am willing to concede the match now.

However, M&Ms need to concede the fact there’s only so much you can do with this model.

First, they added peanuts. I guess that’s okay if you need a protein hit with your sugar rush but I never got it.

Then there came crispy M&Ms. I have to grant them this. The idea that sugar-coated chocolate could be improved by hiding a rice bubble inside sounds ridiculous. In fact, it is ridiculous. But I have to admit, they are the best.

Beyond this though, they need to stop. Coconut or honeycomb M&Ms just mean the disappointment melts in your mouth, not in your hand. And candy corn M&Ms prove that just because two things might be great on their own, doesn’t mean they ever should be combined. I love chocolate, I love vegemite. I have never wanted to taste the two together. (see below)

Smarties have never tried this. They were named well. Plus, they come in purple!

Twisties

Stop this. Now!

There are many versions and shapes of cheese flavoured fried rice starch – Cheezles, Cheetos, et al. Twisties said, bugger the shape, just squeeze that shit straight into the oil and let it come out however. We’ll make the flaw the feature! And we’ll do a chicken flavour to start fights all over the country about which is better, proving we’re a national icon.

So far, so tasty. And every once in a while, they’ll do a barbecue or hot & spicy flavour which fits inside their brief.

But who said the only way to make Twisties better would be to make them taste like a strawberry doughnut? Nobody has ever been that stoned, to either think of it or consider eating them. You’re taking the piss, Twisties. Stop it!

Vegemite

Vegemite is another food which divides people. You either love it, or you’re wrong.

This section is not about trying to improve vegemite, but trying to improve things with vegemite.

Nobody over 5 eats vegemite directly from the jar. It is, by its nature, an additive. You can add it to toast, to sandwiches, to cheese, to crackers, to gravy, to anything you like. So, if you want to add it, you will.

We may have become so soft as a species that a 6-hour internet outage can ruin everyone’s week, but we are not yet so dependent that we can’t add our own vegemite thank you very much!

If anyone was ever high enough to want to add vegemite to chocolate, to Shapes, to a roast chicken (I am not making any of these up), then they would. And in the cold light of morning, they would then keep their shame and regret to themselves.

The problem with Rudolph

Never mind Baby It’s Cold Outside or Fairytale of New York. If you want to talk about bad messages in Christmas songs, try Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

You see, Rudolph was born different. To wit: he had a very shiny nose. For this, all of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. Furthermore, they excluded him from their reindeer games.

However, Santa sees the value in Rudolph's uniqueness and gives him a special job to which he is especially suited. And then how the reindeer loved him!

Now you might think Santa is being pretty cool promoting Rudolph to the most popular reindeer and making the other reindeer accept him, but that’s not really what happens. He could have stopped the rest of the team teasing him any time he wanted, but he didn’t until he had a use for Rudolph.

And did the reindeer really love him? I doubt it. They were never shown the error of their ways. They only accepted Rudolph because Santa made him special, so they were really just sucking up to the boss.

The moral of the story? Reindeer are dicks and Santa will stick up for you if he has a use for you. If I were Rudolph, I’d have led them all up a ditch.

 

What if Obama had done that‽ - Episode 2

Good evening everyone, it's Friday night again and it's time again to play the world's fastest growing game show, 

WHAT IF OBAMA HAD DONE THAT‽‽

This week we have:

Talking about Frederick Douglass as if he's still alive

vs

Having one of his surrogates use the White House briefing room to spruik his daughter's business

As you know, the rules are very simple:

Just pick the one that would have had Fox News and their viewers frothing at the mouth the most if Obama had done it. There is a trick to this one!

Choose correctly and you will move on to the bonus round:

Replacing a general and chairman of the joint chiefs of staff on the National Security Council with a blogger

vs

Not realising what he was doing when he signed the executive order authorising it

Make it through both rounds, and you will win a commemorative bust of Col. Henry Blake. (Who I hear is doing fantastic work, by the way. Everyone says so.)

The heartlessness of the deal – An explainer for my American friends

45 is right. It’s a dumb deal.
Just not for the reason he thinks.

You see, since about 2001, successive Australian governments have been trying to shirk our international responsibilities regarding refugees by trying to palm them off onto various countries including Nauru, East Timor, Malaysia, Nauru again, Papua New Guinea and most recently, the United States.

Why? Mainly because the Murdoch media on behalf of the Liberal party* (or it might be the other way around – it’s hard to tell) has trained enough of its readers to be scared of brown people. Is this starting to sound familiar?

*Remember the conservative party in Australia call themselves the Liberals. Yes, it's weird.

So, with the exception of a brief blip during the Rudd government, three different governments and five different prime ministers (including Kevin Rudd’s brief second attempt) have spent the 21st century trying to outdo each other on border security by being as cruel as they possibly can to some of the most desperate and vulnerable people in the world.

Just in case you might be thinking the US and Australia have similar problems regarding illegal immigration, a couple of other points of perspective:
1: Seeking asylum is NOT illegal.
2: Australia is, as the anthem says, girt by sea. We don’t need some stupid wall. We’ve got a MOAT! We’ve got the best moat in the world. Trust me, you wouldn’t believe the size of our moat. You can’t even see the other side. It’s amazing. Everyone says so. You’d never want to try crossing our moat.

And yet, people still try. You’d have to be serious, wouldn’t you?
As that well known bleeding heart PJ O’Rourke once said,

“...the thing is when somebody gets on an exploding boat to come over here, they're willing to do that to get to Australia, you're missing out on some really good Australians if you don't let that person in.”

But we won’t, because that would require leadership, so we go looking for any other country with a Pacific coast to send them to.

And if that was 45’s reason for hanging up on Malcolm Turnbull, he’d have been right to do so. But that would mean having the faintest idea what you’re talking about.

Instead, according to reports that could only have come from those in the room, he accused Turnbull of seeking to export the next Boston bombers.

Seriously, Donald? The Boston bombers?
You do realise, don’t you, that the Boston bombers were from Russia? That’s R-U-S-S-I-A! You know, the place you’ve got a big ol’ embarrassing man-crush on?

And despite Australia being in such a pathetic position on this issue, is this how friends treat one another? Is this what we followed you into five wars since 1945 for? Is this why we’re your eyes and ears in the southern hemisphere? Is this how you intend to gain respect?
You’re determined to learn the hard way, aren’t you?
   

How to behave in mixed company

Between Jamie Briggs, Chris Gayle and Hamish McLachlan, there has been a lot of talk about what is appropriate behaviour between men and women doing their jobs.

Predictably, this has led to a bunch of would-be contrarians whose emotional development ceased some time before 1985 to complain about their favourite straw-man, “political correctness.” They will complain that you can’t even give a woman a compliment, or a friendly peck on the cheek (which may or may not be a euphemism for sucking on her neck) any more.

For those who need to be told, here’s a quick and easy way for men to tell if their behaviour towards women is acceptable or not:

Just think* about what you’re tempted to say to or do with the woman, and imagine you were saying or doing it to a man. Would it get you punched? Would it at least be socially awkward? If the answer is Yes, then DON’T DO IT! Don’t even think about doing it unless it’s been made perfectly clear that such an approach would be welcome. Here’s another hint: it’s not perfectly clear that it will be welcome just because someone is female and breathing.

Some people will say that if it were a woman doing the same thing to a man, then it would not be a problem. It’s true that it’s easier and more acceptable for a woman to offer a man a kiss on the cheek or a friendly hug in a wider range of situations. Is this a double standard?

Damn right it’s a double standard!

But if you want to talk about double standards, let’s look at the other side of the coin. Men get to walk from a bistro to their car after dark without having to worry about whether they might be raped. Men don’t have to consider contraception even if they’re not sexually active, just in case the worst happens.

If you want to moan about double standards, there’s your starting point. Once we have stamped out sexual violence for a generation or two, then that friendly hug or peck (if that really is all you intend) might be taken in the spirit in which it’s offered.

Until then, back the hell off. It’s not that hard.

* Most of the time, just thinking ought to be enough.

Don’t wait to be told

It’s just over a week into 2016 and we are already well ahead of schedule on our production of stupid.

Today’s stupid was produced by Malcolm Knox where he slapped on the literary equivalent of black-face with the intention of teaching West Indian cricketer Chris Gayle a thing or two about prejudice.

I’ll give Mr Knox the benefit of the doubt that his column was well intentioned, in the same way that the millennial who mansplained how to do feminism better in New Matilda was. Both are cases of editors going for controversy over responsible commentary. Unfortunately, Knox’s point could easily have been made in a couple of sentences.

In summary, Mr Knox seems to be saying that Mr Gayle (who I have only known of for a day longer than I’ve known of Knox), being a black Jamaican, ought to know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of prejudice – which is casual racism in itself. He then rattles off every Jamaican stereotype in the book, in a way that seems to expect Mr Gayle to say, “Thanks, boss! I get it now.” In a spectacular rhetorical own-goal, he not only claims the white male privilege of being the only type of person to not experience prejudice, but also explaining it to those who do on behalf of those who do.

So, for those who need to be told, here’s a handy guide:

People of any race have the potential to be sexist.
People of any gender have the potential to be racist.
People of any race or gender have the potential to be homophobic.
People of any sexuality have the potential to be racist or sexist.
People of any religion or non-religion have the potential to be racist, sexist and homophobic.

In short, bigotry is not the sole domain of white males.

The “how would you like it?” angle is a fair point, but Malcolm Knox lays it on with a shovel and sounds like he’s enjoying it way too much. Many people will have decided to stop reading long before he gets to the point. Yes, it was ironic, but as they said in Drop the Dead Donkey, just because you know it’s crap doesn’t stop it being crap. And it comes from someone who has probably never been told he’s doing privileged white male wrong. Way to turn a douche into the victim, Malcolm!

The Rules: Booing

Dear Australia,

I can’t believe I have to tell you this, but booing is wrong, mmmkay?

What I know about football could fit on a postage stamp with plenty of room to spare but I know this much: booing is wrong.

I was taught this in primary school and I’m pretty sure you were too. I was not taught that there is a time and place when it’s acceptable to boo people, unless you call the time “never” and the place “nowhere.” I was not taught that it is acceptable to boo for this reason but not that reason. It’s just not acceptable. At all. Ever. Clear?

Booing a sportsman or a performer is rude, aggressive, boorish and has no place in a decent society. It is no more or less rude, aggressive, boorish or unacceptable according to your motive for booing. It doesn’t matter whether your reason is because someone scored against your team, plays a song you didn’t like, flubbed their lines, dropped a catch or fell over. It doesn’t matter if you disapprove of the team they play for, their hairstyle, their celebrations after scoring or even – and I’m just mentioning this for the sake of example – even if you’re just a little bit racist.

Booing for ANY reason is just as crude and disgraceful as booing for any other reason. It’s not that hard to understand. Although I’ve admitted my ignorance of football, I would have thought this would be obvious at a game that tries to present itself as good, clean family fun.

If you think booing at a sporting event is acceptable providing the motivation behind the booing is correct, then you’re not part of the problem, you ARE the problem.

Grow up, set a better example for the younger generation, or go home.
 

This player didn't get booed. Just sayin’.

 

Mason Jars

The existence of a twitter account like We Want Plates tells us that we have reached saturation point with hipster cafés – and for the purposes of this piece, “hipster” can be taken as too trendy by half, even for the types of people who are usually impressed by cafés that are too trendy by half.

A recurring theme among these bizarre alternatives to cutlery is a kind of poverty chic. Personally, I think if you insist on serving my breakfast on something that looks like it saw better days in an earlier life as a fence paling, you could at least pass the savings on and not charge me 17.5 (That’s café-menu for seventeen dollars fifty). Nearly 20 years after Jarvis Cocker mercilessly mocked the cultural tourists who “think that poor is cool,” the most ubiquitous example of poverty chic today is the use of Mason jars as drinking vessels.

For a start, they’re not designed to be drunk out of. They were made for preserving but they were also used for drinking because for a time in the southern US, a lot of people were too bloody poor to have anything else. That was economical and, long before its time, sustainable.

This is not.

The fact that the embossing says Ice Cold Drink is a bit of a giveaway.

It’s great that your local hipstercaf has locally sourced free-range eggs (no, really, it is. Happier chooks lay better eggs. It’s a fact) and artisan breads, but let’s not pretend those retro looking Mason jars weren’t made in Chinese sweatshops where they have mastered the art of predicting what kinds of cheap tat westerners will pay for, and sourced by the crate-load from the $2 Shop.

If you’re ever wondered when you should consider using Mason jars, I made a handy chart for you:

No!

With straws? No!

Ooh, but they're coloured! NO!

BPA Free? Why would they be advertising that? Because they're plastic! Plastic Mason jars! I ask you!

Srsly?

STAHP!

I had just about completed this rant when my twitter friend Interrogativus sent me this:

My first reaction was “kill it with fire!” (yes, I know glass doesn’t burn, which goes to show how devious their users are!), but the more I looked at it, the more I came to like it for showing and revelling in how silly and pretentious Mason jars are.

Then, just a short while later, I saw this:

Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached Peak Mason Jar.
That means it’s over now. Move along.


PS: It's really good to have Things I Want to Punch in the Face back. It was tempting to write this post in her style but I resisted.
 

A modest proposal for Qantas

Look, I’m not a businessman’s bootlace and I know it. Even allowing for that fact, I still think I’m fairly justified in seeing something odd in Qantas CEO Alan Joyce’s positive spin on the $2.8 billion loss his company posted yesterday.

In an interview on 7:30 last night, he seemed to suggest that maintaining a large share of the market was also a measure of success. And it certainly is, but to my simple mind, any fool can get a large share of the market by over-supplying their product and selling it below its value.

It’s almost as if Mr Joyce represents the logical conclusion of all those start-up companies that think they can pay people in recognition and exposure.

As such, here is my suggestion for the Qantas board:
Alan Joyce is far and away the most recognisable CEO in Australia. His exposure and recognition amongst CEOs is unchallenged. That has to be worth something, right? He also has 100% of the Qantas CEO market share. Therefore, I suggest that Mr Joyce be remunerated in recognition and market share too.
 

Tony Abbott wins efficiency dividend

This is the article that’s all over social media this morning.

You have to hand it to Tony Abbott; it must take a special kind of talent to pack so much wrongness into such a small space.

According to the report, he quickly corrected himself to say “scarcely settled,” which was probably the best attempt he could make at digging up.

He then shot himself in the other foot by trying to frame British settlement as foreign investment. Well, if arriving on Australian shores uninvited equates to foreign investment, why are we sending refugees home? After all, the convicts who were sent to Australia in the 19th century would have been hanged if they didn’t leave or tried to go back.

In fairness to Mr Abbott, Mark Sawyer argued last month that it’s not actually racism if it could otherwise be described as bog standard stupidity. Leaving aside the fact the one doesn’t negate the other, let’s give the the Prime Minister who brought Indigenous Affairs into his own office the benefit of the doubt that his comment was merely stupid and/or ignorant, and not actually racist.

No, you have to look at the preceding comment, which has had less attention, to find clear, overt racism:

“if I want to sell my place [then] foreign investment might make sense, but if my neighbour wants to sell his place [then] foreign investment might be the last thing we want”.

In other words, we don’t like foreigners but we sure like their money.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Tony Abbott, Rhodes Scholar.
  
 

Rock and Roll is dead

I've always been slightly bemused by the way every rebellious, revolutionary generation whose parents just don't get it, looks at subsequent generations and says their fashion, music and culture is all rubbish.  Just accept that whatever you listened to between the ages of 13 and 30 is always going to feel more important to you than anything else, regardless of artistic merit. I am as guilty as anyone else. I find a lot of modern music offensive, purely on a creative level, but since I'm on the wrong side of 40 now, I'm sure that's the point. 

So when your favourite bands - formerly edgy and dangerous bands like the Rolling Stones, The Ramones and Guns 'n' Roses - are the new feature of a Fathers Day sale at one of the more downmarket chains of affordable apparel and cheap undies, it's time to admit you're just not cool any more.

Any boost to Best & Less's street cred by having a range of rock shirts is surely outweighed by the blow to the street cred of the bands by being sold at Best & Less.

Hope I die before I get old.
 
 

Because you’re a woman,

Because you’re a woman, you have needs that are different.

At Bic, we understand the different needs of a woman. That’s why engineers at the Bic Institute have developed a range of products especially for women.

These products feature the same familiar Bic shape, the same quality Bic ink and the ball point we all know and love, but presented in a gentler coloured tube, perfectly suited for dotting an i with a heart.

Finally, a pen for women from a company that understands women. We know you’ll love new Bic Cristal for Her, because no-one knows women like Bic.
  
 

Reading between the lines, Part 3 – It’s not you, it’s us

In the world of ‘odd spot’ news (which is all some outlets do these day), nothing last week could top the story of three men deported from Saudi Arabia, allegedly for “too handsome.”

While it seems unlike the Saudis to let someone down gently, something about this just screams “cover story.”  Whether it is or it isn’t, this is something Australia could learn from, and perhaps utilise.

For example…
“It’s not that we have anything against your refreshingly novel ideas on Islam and multiculturalism Mr Wilders, or your right to present those views to the most humble of our countrymen.  It’s just that with your glowing locks and beaming, boyish face, we have real concerns that you may cause our women to lose interest in our local men and possibly even turn some of those men gay for you.  I’m sure none of us want that.  I’m sure you understand.”

How easy would that be?
 

Dear Randians,

If you really believe in social Darwinism and absolute individualism, then isn’t it time you admitted that if you’re not happy with your lot, then it’s nobody’s fault but your own?

By your own logic, blaming the government for your situation, or hoping another government will make it all better for you, is a complete cop-out.

   

  

Scientific Whaling

It’s common knowledge that the international moratorium on whaling, in place since 1986, has a loophole that allows whale hunts for scientific research.  It’s a loophole that Japan has exploited ever since and now and by a complete coincidence, whale meat happens to be available in Japan.
Now, South Korea has announced plans to resume scientific whaling.

I have a question for all those involved in hunting whales for the purposes of scientific research:
What have you learnt?
It’s been over 25 years now; I think it’s time some papers were published.  What theories were being tested?  What experiments were run?  Where is the peer review?  How many times do you have to repeat the results before declaring the theory proven or disproven?  If Japan wanted people to stop laughing at their claims that the whale hunts are scientific, all they need do is publish their research.

Now, South Korea has announced it is looking at a resumption of scientific whaling.  As justification for the resumption, they have stated that numbers of minke whales have recovered significantly.  So presumably, the scientific research they intend to carry out is to discover whether killing them will reduce the numbers.  I wonder how many times they will be wanting to repeat that test before declaring some results.  It’s also been suggested that increased numbers of whales have led to decreased fish populations.  Well okay then, if they kill more whales and that leads to an increase in fish stocks, will they declare the theory proven and then stop?  If they kill more whales and find that it has no effect on fish stocks, will they declare the theory disproven and cease research?  In order to keep it a controlled experiment, will they ensure that fishing in the area is exactly the same before and after whaling?  Or will they think of that in a couple of seasons’ time in order to do more whaling for research?

Perhaps I’m being overly cynical.  Perhaps humanity is learning vitally important things from these scientific whale hunts.  If so, publish the research or I call bullshit.
 

Bring on Eurovision

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am actually looking forward to Eurovision this weekend.

Anyone who knows me, and most people who have read any of my work, will know that I am a music snob.  I make no excuses nor apologies for this.  I’m sure we’ve all seen the t-shirts or stickers that say things like “Life’s too short to drink bad coffee,” or bad wine or any number of similar sentiments.  I say life is too short to listen to bad music. 

Now, I am not the kind of snob who looks down upon people who do not share my tastes.  I don’t pity them or berate them for not listening to what I regard as good music.  If listening to music that I don’t like makes other people happy, then they are welcome to it, but I won’t be there with them.  Why should I waste one second my finite available time listening to One Dimension if I could be listening to Kate Bush? 

Eurovision has never bothered me as a music lover.  I’ve always considered it completely separate to anything to do with music.  It’s perfectly harmless trash.  My mother is an English and Literature teacher and she has always said it’s alright to read trash, so long as you know it’s trash.  I agree, and the same applies to music.  Fatboy Slim or Scissor Sisters have very little, if any, artistic value, but I love them anyway.  I may be a snob, but there’s nothing wrong with some good dumb fun now and then.

Typically, both participants and fans don’t pretend that Eurovision is any more than a bit of good dumb fun.  They don’t deny the trashiness, they revel in it.  While there is some pretence of taking the whole thing seriously, they know they’re not fooling anyone.

This stands in stark contrast to the manufactured reality masquerading as music shows in 2012.  Being known as a musical obsessive, I am sometimes asked if I watch Idol or X-Factor or The Voice or whatever other lamentable permutation of the same idea is popular that week.  If they are lucky, I usually respond by wondering aloud what I ever did to be treated with such disrespect.  Or, if I take pity on them, I might just say, “No, I prefer music.” 

Occasionally, a more foolhardy correspondent might try to make the idea appeal to me.
“Oh, but they’re doing a Beatles special next week.”
Yeah?  Really?  Is that supposed to impress me?
These shows are terrible enough when they’re murdering songs I don’t like – why on Earth would I want to hear what they do to songs I adore?
“One of them plays guitar and sang a song he wrote himself.”
Woop-de-friggin’-do! 
I’m old enough to remember when playing instruments and writing songs was the least we could expect of musical artists. 

This particular brand of “reality” television has been around for over five years now.  Has no-one else noticed that the charts are not awash with series winners?  There are a couple of early winners and finalists still visible, but not many.  Who won [Where-ever]’s Got Talent last year?  Who won X-Factor in 2010?  You don’t know, do you?  Is this not a sign that these programs are not all they’re cracked up to be?  The instant obscurity of series winners is quite predictable if you think about it.  The sweet 17yo who steals everyone’s hearts with her version of Mariah Carey’s Hero is not going to connect with people the same way when she releases, Generic-Pop-Song-Written-by-Record-Company-Staff-Writers, is she?  And when we have Dannii Minogue judging others’ talent and advising them on how to be successful in the music business, doesn’t anyone stop to think that they might just be taking the piss?

An English band formed in the late 80s and apparently still going, called themselves Pop Will Eat Itself.  In 2012, pop has eaten itself, vomited itself back up and is licking up the curdled remains.  For the third time. 

All of this would almost be tolerable if it were presented as simple dumb fun, but it isn’t.  It’s presented as an actual musical talent quest and human drama.  It clearly fools enough people to make them ask actual music lovers if they watch the show.

The fact that an original artist like Kate Miller-Heidke has to agree to spend an hour being a fifth wheel on Q and A just to be able to perform her song on television, at a time when the schedules are riddled with high-budget programs claiming to be about music, shows that something is terribly wrong.

If nothing else, Eurovision doesn’t try to be anything is isn’t.  Well, it does try a bit, but not very hard.  Eurovision knows it’s nothing but camp, trashy fun and so does everyone who watches it.  There are no tears, no tantrums, no judges leaping about like they’ve witnessed something that will change the world, no tear-jerking back-stories.  There will be the fake tension of the vote count but everybody knows that nobody cares.

It’s trash and I know it.  And they know it.  Given the state of music television today, that’s actually rather refreshing.
  

Thinking of Linking

Volume three of all the web pages I've posted, retweeted, liked, dugg, stumbled or otherwise taken note of during the year.  (I know that Reddit is supposed to be the cool way to do this now, but it's truly the worst designed site since the Drudge Report)

Arranged into broad categories and in vaguely chronological order of when I found them, and now with a new section highlighting the year in stupid.
As usual, linking does not necessarily imply agreement and/or endorsement, blah blah blah...


News and Politics - Australia
Queensland floods from space
History of Australian states in gif form
Why we hate Gerry Harvey? Analysing a PR disaster
Spotted on a t-shirt in Cronulla
Abbott's game plan: power at any price
Catherine Deveny Q and A Drinking Game
Tony Abbott has things on his mind. None of them good.
Ben Pobjie's minutes of the first Q and A
$40 million: it’s how much each gold medal costs us
The "shit happens" video
Aunty, we have a problem
Liberals' policy hatched in One Nation heartland
That's not guts, Scott Morrison. That's not an apology
Alan Jones' disgusting interview with Julia Gillard
When pacifist Greens want military action, it's time to ask if their policies really can fly
Antony Green: Pauline Hanson and the NSW Legislative Council election
'Alfred' the sham
No Carbon Tax campaign must urgently delouse
Low-road debate sells our children short 
Married to the lynch mob
Abbott fell into obvious trap
Paul Keating's letter to John Robertson
Bernard Keane interviews Lindsay Tanner
Every Federal Hansard back to 1901
Power of success behind Abbott's one-track style
You can lead the Liberals to government but you can't make them think
Decline and Fall – Insiders and Donald Trump
Dickhead removal strategy
Wally Lewis laces up for political protest
Household Income and Income Distribution, Australia, 2007-08 
Are the Christian Left politically homeless?
Power of success behind Abbott's one-track style
Julia's tax will be worse than herpes We'll have to take Terry McCrann's work on that, but as to his rational - "It'll be with you forever and on everything," - what do you call the GST‽
What happened in the House yesterday?
Death threats sent to top climate scientists Sure, both sides do it.
Tony Abbott:"If you want to put a price on carbon why not just do it with a simple tax?"
Abbott attacked for links to climate denier Lord Christopher Monckton
Greg Hunt's thesis: "A tax to make the polluter pay" Awkward! 
Two bald men fighting over a comb
A tribute to Greg Jericho
Mungo: Time for a Greens reality check
Tory Errorist: Liberal stand-over thug prompts Greenie tears Credit where due to this crazy right-wing site for calling thuggery
A brief history of Australia’s tax system (pdf)
Carbon Tax Facts
Extreme Makeover Takeover
Stop throwing out names   
Dickhead! Funny how this wasn't played as much as the "Why did you lie?" lady.
What About Bob?
It's my party: expelled DLP member
The Factbricator 
Gambling survey finds support for pokies reform
The Tony Abbott Tea Party
Debating Lord Monckton "If your doctor told you that you had cancer and Lord Christopher Monckton told you to ignore their advice would you listen to him?"
Sentencing remarks of his Honour Magistrate Rosencwajg Re: Derryn Hinch
Plain packs will cause shortage, says big tobacco Um... yeah.
Tony Abbott’s flawed friendship with the freaks and flat-earthers
A Sad Day for the ABC
Up to 20 returned Tampa asylum seekers have been reported killed, dozens more have simply disappeared
What if Australia had an FPP system in 2010?
How the taxpayer helped Tony Abbott flog his book
Why repeated demands for a double dissolution are constitutionally impossible
The Political Sword was selected for preservation by the National Library of Australia
Malcolm Fraser: There is a better way to deal with asylum seekers - one that would recognise the decency of Australians
The fee, me and Alan Jones: how question of money turned crowd nasty
Mr Jones Goes to Canberra
Protesters rage at false report trucks stopped They lied. Surprised?
Unanswered questions on the Convoy of No Confidence
Tony Abbott should try acting decent
Relative slams 'medieval' plan for Kelly's bones Do the words "rest in peace" mean anything?
Snobs and whingers: the new Australia
Outposts between Sydney and Canberra had stocked up for the Convoy of No Confidence that never arrived
I supported the Malaysian solution. Go ahead, laugh. Not being a journalist or a politician I'm free to admit when I'm wrong.
A sleazy new low for Abbott
Gillard, Rudd and Labor's personality tragedy
Greek tragedy that is the real Julia show
One for you, nineteen for me
Abbott's pit bull politics are effective, but at what cost?
Bogans – Not a Social Group, An Attitude – A Response to Dr. David Nichols
Declining Labor may have to tie knot with the Greens
To change this climate, Labor needs a bold new leader: it's Turnbull
Hockey needs more than Google for his economic research
A similar point to the above
Bolt's columns did not deserve to see the light of day. End of story
How Andrew Bolt should be punished
Briefing for clubs shows they remain profitable after pokies reform
Andrew Bolt and the Racial Discrimination Act - The Age Education Resource Centre
Hypocrisy leaves holes in the kid gloves
Some thoughts on the Occupation
Tony Abbott wants to cut off the NBN, but Victoria makes a different call
The assault on Commonwealth Ombudsman Allan Asher is payback for his plain talking on immigration detention policy
Your Majesty, you're an anachronism: how Paul Keating gently dished up a harsh reality
Robert Doyle is a...
When thousands occupied Melbourne and really ran amok
Bolt from the past: a heartfelt history lesson to the man I loved
Never mind abolishing Question Time, abolish the press gallery
Blood on the tracks a terrible trauma never forgotten
Qantas CEO has 'gone mad' say pilots
Joyce bets the house
Entertaining exchange between pilot and tower after Qantas grounding
The men who saved the party
Deal then no deal: how Qantas stranded Labor
Joyce must not cripple our national carrier
Me at the RSL AGM
'Let them eat yellowcake' JB brings some nuance to the uranium debate
Gillard and Obama: appearance and reality
Labor hopeless, Abbott a hollow man
Abbott's sniping tactics are on the nose
Abbott earns reprimand for speaking out of school
Laid-back Australians find they have quite a lot to whinge about
Remembering a young officer who fell through the cracks
Seriously though, Mr Abbott
How can Abbott’s Liberals be called “conservative” or “pro-business” after this?
After months of outrage, Coalition senators finally had to concede they had no hope of sinking the government's wicked carbon-tax bills.
Revealed: secret plan to cut nurse numbers 
Enough with the Green trivia, let's canvass some policy
In politics, moral outrage is a slippery slope
A hole in his head where his brain should be
Kyle Sandilands – A Troll of Australia’s Making
Jackie O was the girl at school who giggled while the head bully threw your book in the bin
An Open Letter To Jackie O
Tony Abbott overtakes Mark Latham as the most unpopular Opposition Leader in living memory
Surplus Schmurplus
Howard Jacobson on Peter Roebuck
Tony Abbott is NOT unpopular. He is not unelectable. He is not “unfit to lead”
Go @%! yourself: O'Farrell's whip lashes out on Twitter
A True Reflection?
Politicians tweeting. Can you pick the real ones from the made up ones?
Gambling addiction and personal responsibility
Sandilands' apology translated
The great debate that no one's talking about David Marr has a right to his view but projecting it onto Peter Lloyd is ridiculous. Different people have different reasons.
Lessons of a brutal game
A dumb reshuffle puts spotlight back on Gillard’s woes
Lib costings debacle - "auditors" fined. Amateur hour all round.
Anyone but Gillard vs. anyone but Rudd
Australian Exceptionalism 
Year of living hypocritically
Floods, follies and a great big tax: that was the year that was
Father Bob gives final Christmas message


News and Politics - US
A New Year's Resolution for the Rich - Rather prescient given what happened later
Sarah Palin's PAC Puts Gun Sights On Democrats She's Targeting In 2010 - No way could this possibly be seen as an incitement to violence. How could you think such a thing?
Knoxville church shooter's manifesto leaves no doubt: murders were political terror against liberals
Proper transcript of Dupnik's comments on vitriol at the NYT blog
Ayn Rand and the VIP-DIPers
At Least Stand By Your Free Speech
Tucson Shooting Survivor: "It Looks Like Palin, Beck, Sharron Angle and the Rest Got Their First Target"
How to Protect Foreign Aid? Improve It
In search of monsters 
Lawrence O'Donnell tears Glenn Beck apart on religion
America’s Most Isolated Federal Prisoner Describes 10,220 Days in Extreme Solitary Confinement
Obama's "Shah Problem" - President Obama is doing what Jimmy Carter did with Iran in 1978Ronald Reagan's children reject Republican claims over his political legacy
TRIVIA: Who said this? "The profits of corporations have doubled, while workers wages have only increased by one quarter. In other words, profits have gone up four times as much as wages." PS: He thought it was a bad thing.
Sarah Palin Hasn't Raised Very Much Money This Year
150 Achievements Of Liberalism That Conservatives Seek To Destroy
Jon Stewart vs Boll O'Reilly
Martin Luther King, Jr. misquoted after Osama bin Laden killed
You Might be a Teabagger If…..
Among Libya's lobbyists
Why Republicans May Be Skipping 2012 Presidential Run
Happy now?
Challenge to Sarah Palin: Produce YOUR Academic Papers
Maddow and a friend on birthers

NY1 Exclusive: Man Cleared In Central Park Jogging Case Demands Apology From Trump
Obama, Trump Together for Correspondents' Dinner  Obama should give these kind of arse-handings more often. It's a disgrace that you can only tell the truth at a comedy night.
Rumsfeld Muddies The Water As He Clarifies His Remarks On Torture To quote from the classics, The purpose of a clarification is not to make things clear - the purpose of a clarification is to put oneself in the clear.
Zakaria destroys Rumsfeld’s Iraq war talking points
Comfort Cold as Dead: Osama bin Laden Meets His Demise
16-Year-Old Girl Who Challenged Bachmann To Debate Receiving Threats Of Violence, Rape Someone show me an example of Democrats doing anything approaching this
Accused Arizona gunman ruled incompetent for trial but he was still able to get a gun
A Letter From New Orleans: Year 6 of a 5-Year Lifespan
Things that happened while everyone was obsessing on Weinergate
It’s completely asinine for Christians to...
The Republicans are playing a cynical political game with hugely high economic stakes From that well known leftist rag, The Economist
Four things Republicans used to believe: The party used to be conservative, but not extreme
Has Whole Foods Really Become a 'Faux Hippy Wal-Mart'?
Betty Ford in the White House Can you imagine what the modern day media would have done with this perfectly innocent and playful photo?
Federal Debt as Percent of GDP by President
Edwin Edwards buffs his tarnished image in advance of roast
102 Things NOT To Do If You Hate Taxes
The Tea Party, the debt ceiling, and white Southern extremism
US contractor to sue Donald Rumsfeld over 'Iraq torture'
Reporters say they were attacked by security guards at right-wing conference
The GOP's Genius Plan to Beat Obama in 2012
Growing up: Leaving behind naive glibertarianism
USA 3.0
Danziger Bridge guilty verdicts draw reaction from national, local officials
Top 10 Things Texas Gov. Rick Perry Doesn’t Want You To Know About Him
Seven ways Rick Perry wants to change the Constitution Scrap federal income tax AND balance the budget? No way is Rick Perry crazy
A Letter to Scott Walker from a Wisconsin Teacher
Eric Cantor’s Hatred Of Government Is More Important Than The Safety Of His Constituents
Quitting 9/11 - the pressure on victims & families to be national beacons
Remembering 9/11 and daring to dream
Don't divert New Orleans' recovery money, Mayor Mitch Landrieu urges Congress
Rick Perry’s Hardcore History of Investment in Porn
Stopping the World
Condemned Georgia inmate has much support, little hope
Were Twin Towers felled by chemical blast?  NOT a conspiracy article - actually makes a fair bit of sense.
Who are the real job creators?
What if Solar Power had the same subsidies Fossil-Fuel?
We are the 99 percent Read some of these stories before you  judge
Archbishop Philip Hannan's funeral procession to feature upbeat gospel music
The Occupied Wall Street Journal
Protests a warning shot to Wall Street
Your Money Doesn't Love You Anymore
BART Cuts Cell Phone Service to Stop Protest
Bachmann Hires ‘Kill The Gays Bill’ Supporter Arrested for Terrorism
Bobby Jindal and Edwin Edwards have been the best Louisiana governors, poll respondents say
Tea party group to Bachmann: Quit the presidential race
5 Reasons To Be Glad That You Didn’t Watch the CBS News Debate
Romney's Gubernatorial Emails Missing What a surprise!
David Frum: When Did the GOP Lose Touch With Reality?
The Fundamental Flaw In Libertarian Thinking 
Mitt Romney and Rick Perry accused of blatant untruths about Barack Obama Surely not!
No Horton on Wall Street but lots of Whos
Mike Bloomberg's Marie Antoinette Moment
People "Are Occupying Wall Street Because Wall Street Has Occupied the Country" 
Did a Harvard economics class cause the financial crisis? Students walk out of lecture that 'has driven inequalities in society'
For River Ridge couple, each new child is 'a natural extension of our love'
Reggie Clemons - the next Troy Davis?
Krugman: Taxing Job Creators (possibly paywalled)
The Republicans' Farcical Candidates - A Club of Liars, Demagogues and Ignoramuses
Romney would be a much better pres than Gingrich Hardly a high bar
Union Leader makes case against Mitt Romney
Virtual Embassy Tehran Now Michelle Bachmann has something she can say she'll close down
Barack Obama Celebrates Bill of Rights Day With Support for Indefinite Detention Bill
American public to Congress: Get out. All of you.
This Is No Christian Nation
1968: The Clay Shaw trial on JFK conspiracy charges
Christopher Hitchens’ Unforgivable Mistake
Christopher Hitchens and the protocol for public figure deaths
Anonymous donors pay off Kmart layaway accounts
Romney’s Three Paths to Victory
THE COUNTRY'S PROBLEM IN A NUTSHELL: Apple's Huge New Data Center In North Carolina Created Only 50 Jobs
“If I Were a Poor Black Child”…White Saviorism and the Politics of Personal Responsibility
Shale Gas Industry Using PsyOps Tactics Tested in Iraq
Rachel Maddow on the history of how Halliburton and the U.S. military became so intertwined
A Hedge Fund Insider Explains Why Retail Investors Should Flee The Stock Market
The GOP race has entered 'The Tyson Zone'
'He has a right to speak,' said the cop to the banker 
The shocking truth about the crackdown on Occupy
GOP Again Holds Working America Hostage to its Perverse Ideological Priorities
Rich People DON'T Create Jobs: 6 Myths That Have to Be Killed for Our Economy to Live
Gingrich - Honeymoons in Space
Self-Adoration Reaches Newt Heights
The Top 15 Most Dangerous Conservative Politicians And Government Officials To Watch In 2012
How the media made Ron Paul Seriously? That would be to mistake lethargy for strategy
The Myth of American Exceptionalism


News and Politics - UK
Top Gear's offensive stereotyping has gone too far, says Steve Coogan
Denis Healey kept in the dark about Polaris upgrade Yes Prime Minister close to the truth.
190 moments that made the Guardian
Margaret Thatcher's 'Sarah Palin snub' enrages US right Possibly the best decision Thatcher ever made
Murdoch 'deeply depressed' by scandals - aw, diddums!
British PM tells Pakistan elite: 'Many of your richest people are getting away without paying much tax at all – and that's not fair'
Tory candidate “lied in phone-in about honesty”Prince Philip pictured at Nazi funeral He may be mad but there are lessons in Prince Philip's explanation of how 3rd reich could seem attractive in the 30s.
A letter to Viscount Monckton of Brenchley from the Clerk of the Parliaments 'I must therefore again ask that you desist from claiming to be a Member of the House of Lords, either directly or by implication, and also that you desist from claiming to be a Member "without the right to sit or vote".'
"We always knew we were going to have to eat a shit sandwich over the BSkyB deal. We didn't know it would turn into a three course dinner."
House of Commons Select Committee - Unauthorised tapping into or hacking of mobile communications
A warning from history: Eighty years ago, a banking collapse devastated Europe, triggering war. Today, faith in the free markets is faltering again
For Amy I've developed a lot more respect for Russel Brand this year
Extraordinary speech by fearless West Indian woman in face of London riots
The politics of a petrol bomb
Nothing 'mindless' about rioters
"Mindless"
Thatcher Fucked The Kids
An Open Letter to David Cameron’s Parents
Big Brother Isn't Watching You
Phone Hacking 1999 - Tabloids, Authorities and Vodafone all involved
Save The Coliseum
How MI6 deal sent family to Gaddafi's jail
Where was the mention of Margaret Thatcher's victims?
James Murdoch departures 'may herald his exit from papers'
New Year honours include an award for tycoon jailed over stock market scandal

News and Politics - World
"A wonderful development" - Anthropologists on the Egypt Uprising
Gene Sharp: Author of the nonviolent revolution rulebook
Mossad behind assassinations in Iran
Egypt and Iraq - Spot the difference
Egyptian Journalist Ahed Mahmoud Dies Of Gunshot Wounds; First Reported Journalist Death In Uprising
Fukushima Smoking Gun Emerges: Founding Engineer Says Reactor 4 Has Always Been A "Time Bomb", Exposes Criminal Cover Up 
Branson implores entrepreneurs to act on climate "Climate change solutions will create more wealth than any other sector over the next decade," Pfft! What would Richard Branson know about business opportunities?
World's last typewriter factory closes down
Muslim Brotherhood says it's not seeking power
Guardian correspondent missing in Libya
Live discussion: Ghaith Abdul-Ahad
The corrosive legacy of Live Aid
1 Million Workers. 90 Million iPhones. 17 Suicides. Who’s to Blame?
Guardian live 'Blog - March for the alternative – Saturday 26 March part 1
Bin Laden was executed, that much is obvious
Malaysians outraged over branding of women This is where we want to send refugees.
Shooter gathered campers in Norway for security check before opening fire
In the ruins of Gadhafi's lair, rebels find album filled with photos of his 'darling' Condoleezza Rice
Commonwealth leaders under fire for refusing to publish human rights report
Egypt's young radicals battle to reclaim the revolution
Prophecies of Fascism
Last of the True Marxists
Call to bury Irish Giant at sea 
Experts Disagree on Psychological State of Norwegian Killer

Science and Technology
The scale of the universe Brilliant interactive infographic
The government’s war on science: deliberate attack, or abuse by neglect?
Radiation dose chart
Budget cuts curtail search for alien life
Get some science up ya
Protect Research
Astronauts ponder future as shuttle program winds down
Panorama of Atlantis rollout
First Habitable Planet Close To Being Confirmed By Scientists
Atmosphere Above Japan Heated Rapidly Before M9 Earthquake A possible way to predict earthquakes?
Global Warming & Climate Change Myths Myths vs what the science says
Nutters don't need your excuses   "Deaths threats? Seriously Tim Blair? You’re cool with death threats to scientists?"
St Matthew Island
US military goes to war with climate sceptics
Federal Inquiry Is Latest to Clear Assailed Climate Scientist How many times does this have to happen before morons stop banging on about debunked "climate-gate"
OK, climate sceptics: here's the raw data you wanted
Chilling news for climate sceptics: Research by a former poster boy for doubters makes it much harder to deny warming. "Frustrated at what he considered shoddy science, Muller launched his own comprehensive study to set the record straight. Instead, the record set him straight." 
Eclipse over the Acropolis
NASA and Slidell: A long marriage ending with final shuttle launch on Friday
Atlantis in place
Neptune was discovered 1 Neptunian year ago
The sad, sad demise of Greenpeace
A mathemetician's response to 'Is the glass half empty or half full?'
Chrome Overtakes Firefox To Become UK’s Second Most-Popular Browser
Five Visualizations to Grasp the Scale of the Universe
The myth of Climate-gate has endured because of media failings
How the Editor of Windows Magazine Became an Apple Fanboy 
First ever website turns 20
Where's the octopus? This is amazing!
David Gallo shows underwater astonishments More of the above
13-Year-Old Makes Solar Power Breakthrough by Harnessing the Fibonacci Sequence
Federal Inquiry Is Latest to Clear Assailed Climate Scientist
Will the Space Station be Abandoned?
Scientist left speechless as vast glacier turns to water
Many U.S. Schools Adding iPads, Trimming Textbooks
Hurricane Season 2011: Lee (Gulf of Mexico)
Fifty new alien worlds revealed
Diamond planet found
What chatbots talk about when humans aren't around
'Wi-fi refugees' shelter in West Virginia mountains
Google Unearth: Aussie discovers new treasures from the past - from his office
See a black & white photo in colour
About a third of Sun-like stars are likely to contain Earth-like planets orbiting in habitable zones
Around the World in 60 seconds
The dark side of Apple: one man's monologue of misery
Wasabi alarm, beetle sex win Ig Nobel prizes
Astrophysicist Adam Riess Plays Not My Job
Surely a candidate for next year's Ig Nobels
Dennis Ritchie, Trailblazer in Digital Era, Dies at 70
Kindle fire: The Underachiever
Google’s Management Doesn’t Use Google+ 
Google+ Is Dead
Earth | Time Lapse View from Space, Fly Over | NASA, ISS
Scientists About to Find The Force
Something Has Exploded In a Spectacular Fashion On Uranus 
What Went Wrong With Gmail?
RAPID REACTION: Ian Plimer launches new book on climate change – experts respond
5MB Hard Disk Drive, 1956
When Balance is Bias: Sometimes the science is strong enough for the media to come down on one side of a debate


Media bias files
Yes, it’s you I’m talking about - Mark Latham is spot on about the Australian but would have more credibility if he weren't so self-indulgent himself
What Does Rush Limbaugh's Billboard In Tucson, Arizona Say About "Conservative Media?"
Glenn Beck's Jewish Problem 
Auditioning to be a paid caller on right wing radio
One of Sarah Palin's ghostwriters posts a pro-Reagan column on her behalf over at USA Today
Bill O'Reilly: Boehner's Crying Hurts His Credibility
"We Were a Stalin-esque Mouthpiece for Bush" -- Fox News Insider
"time to call out Huffington for getting rich while refusing to pay writers who produced the value she's selling off"
One of the world's most explicitly biased media groups calls the ABC...Biased
Rupert Murdoch issues memo to all News Corp outlets regarding environmental sustainability 
Grog's Gamut: Andrew Bolt makes me question my ancestry
The Decline of Glenn Beck: What caused it?
Comedian/Documentarian Harry Shearer calls for better focus in journalism, March 14
Texas beauty queen denies ballooning to size 6
Aunty apologises to Pyne — again — over offensive Q&A tweet I've no time for Pyne, but maybe this will teach Q and A not to let Chaser wannabes choose the on-screen tweets.
Top Fox News Executive Admits Lying On-Air About Obama It's hardly news that Fox News lies, but admitting to it is kind of novel.
Debunking the Myth That Both Sides Do It Using the Words of Glenn Beck
Andrew Bolt: expert offender, expert victim
How an Advertiser Boycott Campaign Helped Push Glenn Beck Off the Air
'I AM NOT IN THE ENTERTAINMENT BUSINEES' and Other Rules of MacNeil/Lehrer Journalism
Roger Ailes said to have concluded that Sarah Palin is an "idiot"
"You can’t run for the Republican nomination without talking to Roger (Ailes),"
Jon Stewart’s Ratings Are Now Higher Than All Of Fox News
Jon Stewart LIVE On Fox News, Tells Host 'You're Insane'
Could Murdoch’s Love of Gossip Doom His Family?
Hugh Grant to Paul McMullen: "You should try real journalism. You could probably do it."
Is Murdoch free to destroy tabloid’s records?
Rupert Murdoch Has Gamed American Politics Every Bit as Thoroughly as Britain's
Billy Bragg: Never Buy The Sun
Murdoch goes on defensive over 'total lies' by MPs Make your own joke.
Fox And Friends Defends News Corp’s Hacking Scandal: ‘We Should Move On’ But of course!
Tragic Day for Norway; Shameful Day for Journalism
An inquiry into the Australian media will quickly discover a couple of awkward facts. The corollary of Alan Kohler's piece is that more people prefer crap. The tragedy is, he's right
Piers Morgan: "Murdoch victim of a 'witch hunt'" The jokes keep making themselves
This Is Why Your Newspaper Is Dying
Ferreting Out Fake Reviews Online
Why Political Coverage is Broken
Rudd's downfall: written in The Australian
Tonight I was exposed as a wealthy con-man on prime-time television. Unfortunately it isn't true. What should I do?
The shameless actions of News Ltd are a threat to our democracy
American Troops In Afghanistan Burn Bill O’Reilly’s Book and yes, it happened
Steve Jobs to Rupert Murdoch: Fox News Is ‘Destructive Force’
Abbott urges wavering Bolt to fight on 'for good of the country'
Uprooting fake online activism
2011 Andrew Olle Media Lecture - Laurie Oakes
The Oz editor bargained over lives in AFP raid
A case study in how media bias works against clean-air rules
Lachlan Murdoch Investigated Over Involvement In News Corp. Bribery Of Australian Politicians


Music and the Arts
Radio programmes from the past
TISM win an ARIA
Gerry Rafferty, 1947-2011
The critics are wrong: The King’s Speech s-s-sucks
Universal and Sony Music plan 'instant pop' to beat piracy - Turns out releasing records to radio a month before people can buy them isn't a smart business model. Who knew?
Graney On The Hottest 100: ‘Be Amazed At My Ignorance!’
World Party Facebook page
Obituary: Nicholas Courtney
Gretsch Master Builder Discuss G6128T-GH George Harrison “Tribute” Duo Jet
John Clarke and Ross Stevenson respond to BBC plagiarism
Star Wars, the Musical. No, really!
Lis Sladen 1948 - 2011 
Record Books
Curtain closes on Spicks and Specks
David Bridie has an expectation that people are better than they sometimes are allowed to be
Matt Elsbury : It's All About You
Mornington Crescent on Google Maps
In search of Shakespeare's ghosts
Naughty album covers Actually Yahoo, Jimi did not "decide" to feature nude girls on the cover. Jimi hated this cover and it's not the real design
Did Shakespeare smoke pot? Bard’s hair, toenails could reveal secret
Pulp's Common People in comic book form
Mod Odyssey: Documentary on the making of ‘Yellow Submarine’
The other George Orwell
The genius of George Orwell
Interview with Morrissey c1985
Dave Grohl: "You don't fight at my show, you asshole!"
Confirmation that The Blockheads are owed for their contribution to Frankie's Relax
Wally Stott records
The Beatles on Doctor Who. Really! Not a mashup.
U2 'close to irrelevance', says Bono
'The Smiths and Morrissey changed our lives'
Mike Mills on Why R.E.M. Are Calling It Quits "Now let's do something no other band has done: Shake hands and walk away as friends."
Noel Gallagher and Damon Albarn bury the hatchet over Blur vs Oasis spat
David Bedford 1937-2011
Scottish folk legend Bert Jansch passes away at 67
8 reasons to celebrate Wings
Pete Townshend calls Apple 'a vampire'
Does comic 'bravery' go hand in hand with being offensive and stupid?
The Devil's Dictionary at 100
Jarvis Cocker: 'Music has changed. It's not as central, it's more like a scented candle'
The Best Live Albums according to Slate
The Importance of Being Noel
Johnny Rotten graffiti is 'important' say academics Sod off Grandad!
Are Major Labels About To Abandon The CD? Er, No
The 10 Rules of Movie Watching Advice you shouldn't need
Elvis Costello tells fans not to buy new box set
Amazing collection of animated GIFs
A tribute to Spicks and Specks
Lost in the Hundred Acre Wood: Pat McInally's passion for Pooh Bear
Giant Theremin
One song and they call Tim Freedman a hypocrite on pokies Why aren't the clubs hypocrites for booking him? Still, I don't think Tim Freedman makes his case very well here.
1964: Beatlemania hits New Orleans
McCartney guitarist speaks out for Occupy Wall Street in new video
Scientists claim to know equation for 'hit song potential'
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s women problem On the other hand, who gives a toss about the hall of fame?

Animals
Top 10 Pet Toxins of 2010
The pigeon with a bread necklace: How bird got more than he bargained for after searching for food
Deer culling attracts wild dogs
ASPCA Condemns New Dog Fighting Mobile App
Indonesia's killing floors: don't avert your gaze 
Minister Ludwig announces suspension of trade to certain facilities following Animals Australia investigation aired on Four Corners
BanLiveExport.com
Haunted by cruel live trade
Two more Indonesian abattoirs exposed
Government to suspend live cattle exports
Evading meaty realities that make us feel uncomfortable
Pets lost and found
Meat industry joins slaughter protest
New regulations bring reprieve for death row dogs
That brief moment when Andrew Bolt displays some principles before remembering who he works for
The Amazing, Regenerating Dolphin
Crittervision: The world as animals see (and sniff) it
Tattoos are decidedly NOT vegan
Obama Legalizes Horse Slaughter for Human Consumption Possibly the only thing Democrats and Republicans have co-operated on in this congress. I give up!
Dog shoots duck hunter
Say No to balloons
The Dog That Saved a Veteran From Suicide 
Ultrasonic Songs of Male Mice
Dog Dumped at Train Depot Waits in Bitter Cold: A Christmas Eve Rescue Heartbreaking.

Humour and Satire
Alexei Sayle on Reformed Drug Addicts
The Glenn Beck Conspiracy Theory Generator
Ikea Stonehenge
Harry Shearer - Touch My Junk
"I'm free!"
The President's Speech
The One Where George Clooney Sits on Verne
Best troll ever
Hamlet in Powerpoint form
Clarke and Dawe - Please Do Not Attempt This at Home
How to help someone confront their prejudices
Get government out of free enterprise
How one Oregon lawmaker convinced his colleagues to ‘Rick Roll’ the state legislature
Jaws, as reviewed by climate deniers
Why did Obama's birth certificate take so long?
Pretty much every “women’s” magazine ever
John Lithgow Performs Gingrich Press Release (possibly geo-blocked)
Hansard
Internet debating
Planet Earth Doesn't Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave
Pearls Before Swine: Hold Me
The future ain't what it used to be
Confirmation bias
Fossil -fueled wisdom
Murdoch Issues Zero-Tolerance Policy on Phone Hacking: ‘Let’s Go Back to Just Making Shit Up’
Carbon tax questions
Chavfest 2011!
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
Hackgate: The Movie
Norwegian Muslish Gunman's Islam-Esque Atrocity
Harrison Ford Settles a Feud
Obama Turns 50 Despite Republican Opposition
Best WiFi names
Existential Star Wars
A Brief History of Corporate Whining So that's where GetUp got the idea
The global financial meltdown in rhyming couplets Genius!
iPhone apps that First Dog on the Moon would like to see
So you’re MAD about something on the Internet…
5 Vintage Versions of Modern Social Media from Centuries Ago
I look down on you for not understanding my trendy jargon
Republican Front Runners as imagined by The Simpsons
A handy Venn Diagram to illustrate Andrew Bolt's relationship with reality
John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes
Jesus Christ Files Lawsuit Against GOP For Slander
Clarke and Dawe - Attention People Smugglers
Too many Chief Executive Officers, not enough doctors…
The Wild Bore of Texas
DIY Media Inquiry
Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me
Short memories
When useful idiots become just idiots
Pat Robertson Says Falling Satellite Means God Thinks Satellites are Gay
Last American Who Knew What The Fuck He Was Doing Dies
Dumbass Comments: The Gettysburg Address
The Bolt Retort
Tablets
Open-Minded Man Grimly Realizes How Much Life He's Wasted Listening To Bullshit

Just plain stupid
PowerBalance Admits Their Wristbands Are a Scam
Glenn Beck Stands By Egypt Caliphate Conspiracy Theory: 'I'm Not Wrong' - of course you're not Glenn.
Glenn Beck suggests that Muse’s performance at the Grammys is “basically a call for revolution.” Whatever you do, don't let him hear I Predict a Riot by Kaiser Chiefs
Does the Alternative Vote Bring Tyranny to Australia?
Charlie Sheen as Charlie Brown
When the wind doesn't blow . . . which is nearly all the time Hey Terry, where I'm from, "When the wind doesn't blow," is almost never!
Islam's the problems, not Muslims, says Senator Cory Bernardi ...because he's an idiot
'Throne Up' in royal wedding sick bags
"Ingrid Seward, editor of the royal-watching Majesty magazine, told The Sun newspaper: 'This is completely tasteless.'" - If your job is editing a magazine about royal family gossip, you don't get to decide what's tasteless
In a race for the presidency, could Sarah Palin beat Charlie Sheen? - really, somebody did this research
Frederick Forsyth Repeats Nonsense - Australia not about to Adopt FPTP
Top 20 Crazy Tea Party Reactions To Obama’s Birth Certificate
Rush on for affordable copies of royal wedding dress
Mike Huckabee Debuts His New Cartoon Series About Time Travel and Revisionist History
Disney seeks SEAL Team 6 trademark
Alan Jones impressed by 'laser' speed breakthrough
John Lennon Might Maybe Have Been a Secret Republican
Monckton goes Godwin Gotta wonder about a man who insists on being called "Lord" talking about how bad it is to accept authority.
Monckton apologises for Nazi jibe
Hockey takes 'Rudd' on Canberra tour Really Joe? I mean, really??
Bachmann pledges to ban pornography
Motivating The Base & Australia's Electoral Fraud I think I upset a few people in the comments
Men use 'sniff test' to tell clothes' cleanliness, survey shows Yes, somebody needed to do a survey to work this out - then published it as news.
Fox News thinks the UK has a president
"Traffic lights are a Bolshevist menace"
PayPal founder unveils floating country Brilliant! The pirates have never had it so easy.
Abbott calls for election to decide leader In case you haven't noticed Tony, this is a Westminster system. We don't elect the prime minister. Ever.
Tea Party Nation wants all small business owners to stop creating jobs by not hiring anyone in protest of President Obama and the Democratic Senate. Suicide economics! Brilliant!
Lesbian London link is a riot 
Gillard's a goner, Shorten's still bloody. Stand up, Simon Crean
Tea Partier: ‘John Boehner Is A Socialist’ I don't know which is funner - calling John Boehner a socialist or a Fox News muppet getting all upset as a bizarre, hyperbolic accusation.
Bill O'Reilly Threatens to Quit Over Obama's 'Buffet Tax' Bring it on, Billo!
The Hamster Wheel - Julia Song All of this was considered fit for broadcast on Sydney radio because nobody swore. What a fucked up values system!
Rumors Of Extramarital Affair End Campaign Of Presidential Candidate Who Didn't Know China Has Nuclear Weapons
Shutup, Twitter Isn’t Censoring Your Dumb Trends
Kim Jong the second?


Egotism
01 Aug Most popular tweets: Q & A, part 2
Carbon Capture Report I have no idea what this is about
Going viral
Imaginary Q and A
I am famous! One of my tweets was on #imaginaryqanda

Miscellaneous
What teachers make
Nerd saves entire BBC archive for $3.99, you can help for free
Your Memento - National Archives
The Blind Man Who Taught Himself To See
Long Stabby Things, Whacking off, WTF
Paul McCartney's Ex Lied About Abuse, Says Ex-Publicist
Make your e-books smell right 
Nostradamus' cherry jelly recipe  
Immaterials: Light painting WiFi
10 Myths About Introverts
Equal parts sad and brilliant
Dog people are 18% more likely to choose Paul as favourite Beatle 
Gorgeous Time-lapse of North American Cities at Night
Living in the Future
Boston Globe creates a Twitter board for the newsroom
Questioning Whether Bipolar Disorder Is An Illness
Celebrities with records
A double-bluff on Kotex
Virtual classes of cold-blooded killing The one where Jim Wallace makes sense
A true challenge for Masterchef and its ilk 
Conversations with a blue ball
Double rainbows over Melbourne Note that the bright one seems to be coming out of the Commonwealth Bank headquarters
The Left, the Right and the New Atheism: a response to PZ Myers
How to Sit with Sadness
The new world of work needs to be fair as well as efficient
Letters of note: David Bowie
How to Recreate the Look of Instagram Filters with Vintage Cameras and Films
Star Wars imperial march played on two floppy disk drives Nerdgasm!
Pinkwashing
Does Richard Dawkins exist?
It's okay to not like things
The 5 most annoying archetypal online reactions to a famous person’s death
Whack! Did that make you think?
Is That an Emoticon in 1862? Actually, I say No.  I say it's closing the bracket that was opened at the beginning of the sentence.
Seven Bar Jokes Involving Grammar and Punctuation
Great photo gallery of Flinders St Station
At last: how to do sarcasm online
The Closed, Unfriendly World Of Wikipedia
the 46 stages of Twitter
Beautiful Photos of Freeway Interchanges
Art Deco font
If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
Tweets a solace for the lonely