When asked about the unconventional split, the newly renamed Murdoch said, “It’s not new. It’s been done before. Prince was the first to try it back in the 90s. The problem with that was that he only had one name in the first place so he had to use that love symbol thingy. That was never going to work, if only because my printers weren’t going to retool for that little pissant.”
However, the singularly named Murdoch added, “The idea of trying to wriggle out of his responsibilities by claiming the bloke who signed the contract didn’t exist any more was pure bloody genius though. It might not have worked for him, but we reckon we’ve got the idea perfected now.”
When asked for comment, the segment of the former Rupert Murdoch now named Rupert stated, “Ducks. Lots of ducks. Pretty ducks on a pond. James? Are you there James? Where’s me cocoa?”
Shares in News Ltd companies rose after the news that Rupert would be assisting police with their ongoing enquiries.