Yes Dave, you are an elite, and I’ll explain why.
Firstly, I get where you’re coming from. You still talk like you left school at 12, you still look like the ‘after’ picture on an anti-drugs campaign, but you are an elite now.
It’s a trap many comedians before you have fallen into. They start out talking about things like growing up in the suburbs, bad dates, their shitbox car, shift work… things lots of people can relate to.
But if they’re not smart, once they have some success, they’ll keep talking about things that happen to them as if they happen to everyone else; things like hotel service, or air travel, or property taxes.
Then, if they’re really unwise, they’ll blame their audience when the new material doesn’t land the way it used to, instead of doing what they are supposed to do by reading the room.
And yes, I know you’re complaining about the government, which is always a rich seam for comedy. The difference is why you’re complaining.
You could point out that one week’s unemployment benefit is equal to one night’s accommodation allowance for an MP, which they still get whether they spend the night in a hotel room, a share house, or a property owned by their spouse. That’s pretty hilarious, eh?
Or there’s the fact that we subsidise the extraction of minerals and energy when the companies that earn billions from doing it pay bugger all in tax. What’s all that about?
But capital gains tax? Really, Dave? You think the punters are going to come with you on property values?
You may still talk like a bogan but what you’re saying sounds like it would come from Gerry Harvey - and you can take that any way you like. As a professional, you ought to know what Aussies can spot a poser a mile away, and that’s what you’ve become.
I remember 20 years ago there was a show called The Glasshouse. There was a bloke on there who would have ripped into anyone with the temerity to complain about his lot when he owned more houses than he could live in. It probably would have started with, “Ooh, I’m not happy!”
But hey, things change, right?
Well, maybe they have for you. And good on you for it. You worked hard, you took that Channel 10 cash for all it was worth, you invested it wisely, good for you!
That doesn’t mean the rest of us shitkickers - ie your audience - aren’t still wondering if we’re ever going to be able to own one property. To live in! Ever!
So yes Dave, you’re an elite now. And no-one is saying there’s anything wrong with that. You were born bogan and now you’re an elite. Well done, you! If you’re comfortable with who you are, just own it. If you’re not, then do something about it.
Oh, by the way, the “typical Aussie bloke,” (as your website describes you) doesn’t usually pose for selfies with the opposition leader while having coffee. Elites do.
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