30 May, 2014

9 Signs Buzzfeed Doesn't Even Have To Try Anymore

9 Things Buzzfeed Writers Can Do That Ordinary People Cannot 

It used to be that you had to be interesting to get attention, but as the world approaches Peak Buzzfeed, these days you just have to be something no-one else can believe anyone ever saw a need for.
Such as these, which were found at the bottom of just ONE Buzzfeed listicle:

The Definitive Ranking Of Oreos
Because we've all had enough of those non-definitive rankings of Oreos. Amateurs!

How Sweaty Are You?
How did anyone figure this out before Buzzfeed quizzes?

21 Emma Watson Fans You Won’t Believe Exist
Hey, if this listicle exists, then I can believe anything exists

19 Things Celebrities Do On Social Media That Normal People Cannot
Spoiler: Anyone can do these things. Millions do. It's just that you don't notice.
And how do you like it when someone re-purposes your posts, Tabatha?

The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time
This is clearly a definition of "Important" that I wasn't previously aware of.
And no, I won't.

Who Should You Support In State Of Origin?
If you thought quizzes couldn't get any more redundant than "How Sweaty Are You?" then you'd be wrong.
I'll make it really simple for you:
If you're from Queensland, then Queensland.
If you're from New South Wales, then New South Wales.
No-one else on Earth gives a shit.

Which Hollywood Emma Are You?
What does this even mean??

Jennifer Aniston’s Fiancé Justin Theroux Spotted Out With Terry Richardson
Did you ever, in your wildest dreams, imagine you would one day read that? I know, right?

Rihanna Walks Through An Outdoor Mall Completely Unnoticed
Well obviously, she didn't.
Unless, by excepting photographers, Buzzfeed are implying that paparazzi don't count as 'people,' in which case, well played!

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  1. I have said it before and I shall say it again. The internet will be the death of us all.

    Edit: Need proof? The code I had to enter to post this was "666".

  2. For the record, I am Emma Watson, Apparently.

    "Which Hollywood Emma Are You?

    You got: Emma Watson
    It’s not difficult to peg why you are one of the most beloved species of Emma: you’re bold, beautiful, and incredibly bright. People fawn over your looks, but really fall for your heart. If we were all little more like you, the world would be a better place. You are — through and through — the embodiment of utter flawlessness."

    It is amazing how well they know me after answering six questions. Half of which I did not understand. I cannot argue with my utter flawlessness.