Bill’s all-purpose, do-it-yourself government inquiry

There are hundreds, if not thousands or scandals, crises and stuff-ups worthy of a government inquiry. The problem is that these inquiries are long, expensive and inevitably become politicised in one way or another.

Here’s a quick and easy way to streamline the process:
Simply round up anyone who has ever spoken on the crisis, scandal or stuff-up and uttered the words,

“Now is not the time to play the blame game.”

It’s probably their fault.

If they are not directly responsible, they are probably culpable in some way.

Just treat the matter like it was primary school:

“Bobby, did you steal Jennifer’s pencil?”

 - Look Miss, we’re all sorry Jennifer’s pencil is missing, but now is not the time to play the blame game or indulge in some kind of witch hunt. What needs to happen now is that we all need to pull together to help Jennifer write again and ensure others’ pencils don’t go missing in the future.

“Bobby, DETENTION!”

Simples!