News from the future…

[some time between May and September, 2013]

Last night, Tony Abbott appeared on the ABC’s 7:30 programme for his second interview with Leigh Sales this year and his first live, in-studio interview of the year.

Mr Abbott was part way through answering a seemingly innocuous question about how the Coalition plans to pay for abolishing the carbon and mining taxes without reducing the tax-free threshold to pre-2012 levels, when Ms Sales leapt across the desk, drove her fist clean into Mr Abbott’s chest, tore out his heart and showed it still beating to his dying eyes.

Sales then calmly resumed her seat and turned to camera to introduce a report on the human cost of the drugs in football scandal.

The following morning, social media was abuzz with accusations from the left and hardcore Labor that Sales and the ABC had sold out and become puppets of Rupert Murdoch and the IPA for allowing Tony Abbott to prove that he had a heart.