Governor General, Prime Minister, the Honourable Leader of the Opposition, distinguished guests,
Thank you for this warm welcome, and… Gidday! [pause for applause]
Our country has no greater friend than Australia. We are, great mates. [pause for applause]
And we have shared this great friendship since each of our countries were knee high to a grasshopper.
Whether it was [old tragedy] or [more recent tragedy] or [current challenge] Australia was always there to say, “no worries, [pause] “she’ll be right.” [pause for applause]
I am fortunate to share a deep personal friendship with your prime minister. I can say without hesitation or fear of contradiction that he/she is a top bloke/sheila*. [pause for laughter and applause, smile and wink at PM]
You know he/she can always be relied on to be fair dinkum.
There are of course, times when we don’t see eye-to-eye on everything. If I live to be a hundred, I’ll still never understand the rules of cricket or how the heck you can eat vegemite. [pause for laughter and applause]
But I know that we stand as one on what’s really important: courage… loyalty… freedom… mateship. [pause for quiet murmurings of agreement]
I thank you again for your friendship to our country and your hospitality during my stay in your great country. You have been bonza. [brief pause for laughter] A little ripper! [longer pause]
I look forward to a continuation of the special relationship between our two countries, and may God bless the people of Australia.
[move to sit down, return as applause begins]
*Be sure to check which of these applies at the time