28 January, 2011

On the Genius of Spinal Tap

It is undeniable of course, that Spinal Tap are the greatest rock and roll band in history.  This is not in dispute.  But for decades, millions have wondered just what it is that makes Tap the greatest.

In fact, Tap are so cool that they gave the secret away in the single from their reunion album, Break Like the Wind.
And that’s the majesty or Rock,
The mystery of Roll.
You see, only Spinal Tap have perfected the delicate balance of rock and roll.

There are thousands of bands that rock.  Purple?  They rock.  Floyd rock.  Zep?  They totally rock.
But they don’t roll.  And that’s why they never quite made it to Tap’s brilliance.

To their credit, at least Led Zeppelin know it.  They have admitted as much.  As the song goes,
It’s been a long time since we rock and rolled.
Too true, Robert!

As Tap have explained, Roll is more mysterious and there are less bands who understand it. An obvious example is The Rolling Stones.  The name says it all.  They have Roll down pat.
But they don’t rock.
A lot of people will tell you the Stones rock, but they don’t.  I mean, it’s not The Rock and Rolling Stones, it is? QED!

You can just imagine the discussion,
’Ere Mick, I think we forgot something.
 - What’s that, Keef?
We forgot to rock.
 - Ah, bollocks! You’re right.
Only Spinal Tap have discovered the perfect combination of rock and roll.  And they have put the formula out there for anyone who knows where to look for it.


  1. Hmm ... the Hard Roll Cafe doesn't have quite the same ring to it though.

  2. That's what they serve, isn't it?

  3. I liked the Rob Reiner movie and all that but something about this post sounds like it was written by somebody else.

  4. Not the first time I've been accused of being someone else.